There is no holy grail for parenting. It’s undoubtedly the most difficult and is possibly the most wholesome experience of an individual’s life. Objectively speaking, it’s literally taking up the responsibility of raising another human being. Whatever you do, however you behave, is gonna leave an impact on your child in one way or another. Yet, there are times when parents unknowingly transfer their struggles upon their children.
1. “Not taking the time to explain themselves on certain topics. The whole ‘do as I say because I said so’ or ‘because I had you’ is not effective.”
2. “Over sheltering them. You can’t protect your kids 24/7 for their whole lives. It leads to naive adults that get taken advantage of.”
3. “Might sound a little contradictory but either not disciplining them or disciplining them way too much.”
4. “Not apologizing when they’re wrong.”
5. “Shouting at them instead of having a conversation.”
6. “Shaming in any way of something your kid is into. Trying to learn about it is actually quite helpful and a good way to connect. And, parents can learn things that they like too. I didn’t know I liked Pierce the Veil until my 12 year old liked them and I wanted to check them out.”
7. “Putting excessive pressure on their children to meet their own unfulfilled aspirations.”
8. “Not discussing money with them. I’m not saying parents should dump their financial stress on their kids, but things like budgeting, taxes, and personal finance discussions would’ve helped me tremendously.”
9. “Comparing them with other kids🤦”
10. “Forcing them to hug people (friends/family members) when they say they don’t want to. All you’re teaching them is to put other people’s feelings above their own discomfort. Bonus points for guilt trips ‘well if I don’t get a hug then I won’t give you this toy I bought for you’. Please don’t teach my child to give physical affection in exchange for gifts.”
11. “Making them feel like a burden, either financially or logistically, has to be up there as a silent trauma that takes root over time.”
12. “Having a toxic relationship and staying together for the ‘sake of the kids’.
13. “Posting them on social media. To clarify, like, when they get disciplined & it gets recorded & posted online. Not respecting their privacy.”
Parenting is sure not easy. And casually passing on your struggles, questionable opinions, and orthodox inhibitions is not the solution.