Gender norms and roles impact all genders. Unfortunately though, not in the best way possible. Sometimes we end up believing in and acting on certain limiting beliefs that the society has embedded in us. Especially ones that are based on what our gender is. Which is why we thought this Reddit thread was a useful read for all of us!
In it, people have shared what they think should or should not be normalized among men. From household chores to self care and emotional expression, Redditors have discussed everything. Read on to know more.
1. A man who gets a manicure and pedicure once a month – that’s grade A quality. Self care is hot.
2. Fighting every fight. Hey, it’s okay to walk away.
3. Being told to man up for every hardship and that showing sadness or emotion is weakness.
4. It’s incredible how a man can value and support emotional vulnerability while simultaneously not being able to allow it for themselves. I find it so easy to show up and support my vulnerable mates but so incredibly hard to be the vulnerable one.
5. “Man up,” more often than not, means, “Eat the sh*t I’m feeding you and shut up.”
6. Not taking care of their mental health.
7. Not being able to shed a single tear in front of each other, unless it’s a death or marriage. That’s the only pass men get to cry in front of others.
8. Working as much as humanly possibly, and putting down people who don’t. I come from a blue collar family. My dad, all my brothers, all of their friends, and some of my friends all work 60-80 hours a week. They can’t stand not doing something when they’re home on the weekends or an unscheduled day off.
9. I was 14 when we had to put our dog down, I didn’t cry when it happened because I wanted to be strong for my mum and I didn’t want my dog’s last view to be one of me looking sad. But you can bet that as soon as I got home, I cried a lot and when I told my mum that I didn’t want to go to school the next day, she phoned the school and told them what had happened. The school’s response was, “Its just a dog, he should learn to man up.” My mum’s anger hit the roof and she said that if any of my teachers said that to me when I went back to school, I had permission to stand up and tell them, “F*ck off” get my things and just walk out. I assume this message was passed along as I never had to.
10. Getting praised for changing diapers, giving your child a bath, etc. You’re the parent. That’s just taking care of your kid.
11. Not going to the doctor. My dad, my uncle, my grandpa, my cousins and myself, none of us go to a doctor unless it’s an emergency. For example, I had a fever for 4 days and on day 4, it hit 104°. I only went to the hospital because my fiancé threatened to call an ambulance.
13. Being a bystander when your friends are being creepy/abusive. If it’s not cool for anyone else to do it then it’s not cool when your friends do it either.
14. Can’t/don’t cook. Basic cooking isn’t hard. Quality cooking isn’t hard.
15. It’s cringey as f*ck to be proud about a bodycount.
16. Showing other guys your girlfriend/wives’ nude photos. Not being emotionally available for your children. Showing your children it’s okay to hate. The list goes on.
17. Objectifying girls and women to an extreme degree. “Locker room talk”. Ostracizing the fellow boys and men who don’t participate, insulting them and questioning their sexuality when they won’t laugh and jeer along, or add in their own disgustingly descriptive and often times violent fantasies.
No more toxic masculinity, please.