Trump has landed on Indian soil, but the real event has been the run-up to his arrival. The kind of reception this man is getting has got us all a little bemused - the government has pretty much pulled out all the stops to make the places he sees look like a sparkling clean room, except all the junk has been hurriedly stuffed in a closet.
This does make you wonder though - if the US President visited every year, we'd finally have a clean country. After all, they released 17 million litres of extra water into the Yamuna just for Trump!
That means if he keeps this up, our favourite stinking river will finally be clean. No more mutant machlis! 17 million litres of water won't actually do much to improve the condition of the water, but at least that damn smell will be gone!
In Agra, the roads have been widened, cleaned, and re-paved. Suddenly, the city looks a lot more appealing.
We should just send him on a tour of the cities with the worst roads around the country every. No more potholes, no more kaccha roads, just smooth sailing all the way. Acche raste saste mein.
Hell, even the Taj Mahal has been cleaned up after 300 years. THREE HUNDRED YEARS! And Trump will probably spend just about 5 minutes in there. Imagine how clean our monuments would be if he came every year.
Our enduring symbol of love, the Taj Mahal, has honestly been pretty dirty for a long time. Cleaning tombs after 300 years is a bit of a task though, so good luck to whoever's in charge. Don't chip anything.
Also, the stray cattle and the monkeys around the streets of Agra have also been rounded up. Can't have a primate slapping Trump on the butt after all!
An annual visit from from the American Premier would get rid of all the bovine amblers and other pests. Just leave our cute doggos alone.
In case it wasn't obvious, we're not being serious. Taking care of the needs and requirements of the people, keeping the city clean - that should be the norm and should be done regularly by the government, not just when a VIP visits.
Additionally, what's being done is a deplorable example of bootlicking. Spending over Rs 100 crore for a 3-hour visit, building a wall to hide the slums from view - it's sickening. But as for the rest of the things, if we could stick to keeping things spic consistently, instead of just temporarily, we'd all be a lot better off.