“Bro, dafuq!” a friend of mine exclaimed.
I wasn’t surprised.
I knew this was coming.
In fact, I knew people around me would react this way the moment I picked that ‘doomed’ t-shirt. “Should I wear it? Or should I just go with a regular one?” I’d contemplated before finally convincing myself to be a little more adventurous (because YOLO, you know) and had chosen to wear a v-neck t-shirt that day.
“Bhai chichora lag raha hai! Hahaha! Upar se you need 6-pack-abs to rock t-shirts like these! And you?” my friend concluded savagely pointing at my adorable paunch (yes, that image above is for representational purposes only. I look nothing like it).
“But what’s the problem in these? They take your body shape and the material is nice. They are a delight to wear in summer,” I tried putting up an argument.
“Nah man. All those wannabe models wear this shit. You know, toned body, tight joggers… and a waxed chest,” he said pointing to the haphazard plantation on my chest.
As much as I hated it, stereotypically speaking, he had a point. There is a certain amount of douchebaggery attached to v-neck tees all around the world.
According to popular opinion, a v-neck tee has to be accompanied by tight joggers, mid-ankle canvas shoes, 6-pack-abs (actually make them 8 just to be on the safe side) and a slick undercut. Add to that a waxed body and you’re good to go.
The problem right now with v-neck tees is that they put you in a catch-22 situation. Allow me to elaborate with the help of the only two possible scenarios involving them:
Scenario 1: You have a chiseled, hairless body.
Response: “Oh God! What a show-off! We get it man, you have a nice body.”
Scenario 2: You have a normal body with a normal amount of chest hair.
Response: “That’s gross. Nobody wants to see that paunch and definitely not that chest hair, man!”
Like a friend of mine quipped, “Trust me, if I want to see a man’s chest hair, I’ll take him home. But I definitely don’t want to watch them on the road!”
Now the thing is that while they may be an eyesore to many out there, I like them. I might not have the best body in the world, I might not believe in deforestation (read: a waxed chest) but I do like them enough to wear them on a regular basis. And honestly, I’m tired of others having a problem with them.
So to all my fellow v-neck aficionados, haters gonna hate. You gaiz be awesome!