There is no doubt that moving in together is a big step. It is a strong sign of commitment and can change the entire dynamics of a relationship. While it sounds all sunshine and rainbows, it can become really difficult to live together if things don’t go as planned. Therefore, it becomes extremely important to discuss a few things with your partner before moving in together.
Here are some topics that you may want to cover before you make the big decision.
1. Why are you moving in together?
While it may sound a little obvious, it’s important to openly have a conversation regarding the reason for taking this big step. Are you doing this to save rent or to make your relationship official? You need to make sure that there's no confusion about intentions and you are fully prepared to do this.
2. How serious are you two for each other?
You may have started things with a ‘go with the flow’ approach, but here is where things get serious. As you embark on your journey of sharing an address together, you need to address how serious you are about this commitment. You need to be clear if you are moving in to eventually marry one another or are this would just be a trial for you.
3. Who will be responsible for paying the bills and managing finances?
Before you start living together, it’s important to be clear on your budget. Money can definitely become a concern, especially when you are sharing expenses. Although the conversation about money can be a little awkward, it would reduce the chances of creating a big mess later on. Therefore, it’s important to figure out a realistic budget about how much each person would be contributing to the expenses.
4. How would you divide the responsibilities?
Just like with money, it’s crucial to clear your expectations around the responsibilities for both of you before moving in together. From cleaning and grocery shopping to washing dishes, you should be crystal clear about splitting up the household chores before moving in.
5. How will you deal with arguments and conflicts?
Arguments and conflicts are a part of life. Earlier, it was easy to fight and move on to doing other things because you weren’t living together. However, you can’t run away from your problems now because you are actually stuck with one another. Therefore, it’s important to find a way to communicate better and figure a way to resolve every issue.
6. Where will you live?
7. What is their daily schedule like?
Is your partner a morning bird or a night owl? Is your partner messy or likes their things arranged neat and clean? Do they throw their shoes and towel in the living room? You should know everything about your partner’s daily life and check if you would be able to put up with it for every single day. So, it’s important to get clarity on their schedule before you call the packers and movers.
8. Do you like each other’s friends?
It’s safe to assume that you would be inviting your own set of friends when you share a space together. If you like their friends, it’s great. However, if you feel like leaving the house as soon as you see them, then it might become a reason to worry about. Therefore, set the rules and regulations for parties under your roof with your partner to avoid any conflicts later on.
9. Can you stand each other’s family?
Just like your own set of friends, you will have your respective family members visiting you from time to time. While some enjoy the frequent visits of family members, others might feel a little overwhelmed by it. If you are someone who enjoys their freedom, it might become a concern for you. Therefore, understand each other’s priorities in terms of families to avoid any issues later.
10. Do they like pets?
Having a pet is no piece of cake. It requires time, love, effort and money to raise a pet. Therefore, it’s important to understand know how you both feel about pets and if you would be interested in adopting one in future.
11. What are your long term career & life goals?
While you both may have different expectations from your lives, it’s important to discuss your goals and priorities with your partner before moving in together. This will make sure that you both are on the same page and your relationship wouldn’t ruin your career in the future.
12. What happens if it doesn't work out?
Finally, the hardest question is here. While it might sound like a negative question, but not all relationships stand the test of time. Who would keep the house, pet or furniture in case you split? Discuss and have a backup plan with your partner to be secured about the future.