Even if cheating gets all the hype, there are things, however little they may be, that can cause cause the strongest of bonds to weaken, and relationships to fall apart.
There are things that are worse than being lied to and cheated on – these slow relationship killers can cause bitter resentment and heartbreak that lasts a much longer time, and make things ugly without your knowing it, most of the time.
1. Maintaining a relationship because it is convenient
Maybe we feel like we shouldn’t disappoint each other, or avoid bitter exchanges, and end up giving into the relationship. Because, what’s better than a convenient arrangement, right? Who would venture into a new relationship and invest so much time and effort, all over again? But then again, dragging a relationship just because it fits well in your life, even if it lacks the spark and excitement, is pretty unhealthy in the long run.
2. Failing to communicate to each other
True, you might hang out all the time, go for beautiful Sunday brunches and catch up with all the exciting movies together. But if you fail to communicate to each other what really matters to you, conveniently leaving out details that you think might cause problems, it is time to start working on it, don’t you think?
3. Lying and hiding things, however small they might be
May be you feel like lying about little things that will keep each other out of trouble. And as an individual, you will always have some thoughts you might not want to confide in anyone, not even the person you trust the most. But as far as the relationship is concerned, try to be as honest as possible.
4. Acting condescending towards each other
We might, at times, or at all times, have opinions and views that are reserved differently than that of our partner. Instead of dominating the intellect of your partner and talking him/her down, try to put your point across diplomatically and be accomodative of your partner’s view. That’s the mantra of every successful relationship – don’t mess with them sentiments.
5. Suppressing anger and feeling pent up resentment
Every one has a different way of dealing with anger – some people shout it out, some people lock themselves up in a room and cry it all out, some people distract themselves by reading, cooking, working out or dancing and some keep it inside them. Do not house that anger only to release it later – it applies not only to relationships, but to every personal/professional matter. Why? Because it is CRAZY. Just breathe that anger out. Then and there. Anyhow.
6. Not addressing your doubt and developing trust issues in the process
Instead of calling your friend up and asking why your partner is behaving differently, walk up to your partner, talk it out, question and discuss the origin of your doubt with him/her and talk till you are convinced. Being straight forward is the ONLY way out to avoid dramatic exchanges. Adopt it.
7. Manipulating your partner to get things done
In case you want something done your way, instead of mincing words and trying to manipulate your partner into doing things, either do it yourself or request him to do it in a straightforward way. No one enjoys being manipulated and being played with.
8.Staying together because you’ve become co-dependent
Isn’t it scary to be alone? Isn’t it scary to think of all the void that a break up will bring? It is difficult to break away from someone who is always around- it is always easier to share things with people who have been there with you. But if you happen to fall out of love, this is no excuse to stay together. Times change, people change, big deal – the moment you feel things are not going right, just address it maybe.
9. Lying about things in the beginning of the relationship
Be it about your sexual experience, your preferences in life, your interests, what you expect from a relationship, it is only wise to be honest about everything before your proceed. Even if a lot of these things are subject to change as people change with time, it is best to keep things transparent and clear between the two of you from the VERY beginning. You don’nt want your partner to feel like his/her whole life was a lie, do you?
10. Withholding affection towards your partner
Not only in romantic relationships, being affectionate and kind towards people, expressing it and letting them know that they can count on you, goes a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship. In case you withhold your affection or withdraw your support from an urgent situation, the cause for it being your ego or anything else, can cause damage that might be beyond repair.
