Having one’s nudes or intimate videos leaked can really create a dent in one’s perspective, especially if the perpetrator is someone you know and trust.
Not only is it an invasion of privacy, but it is also a serious criminal offence. So we’ve curated a few stories people shared about their experiences with having their nudes leaked.
1. A now ex-boyfriend had some underwear pictures of me. I had drawn on my body and he wanted to see, so I sent him some pictures.. A few weeks later he was on a trip with his sports team and asked me for real nudes. He said I didn’t have to include my face, just a boob snap or maybe full body. It was in the middle of the night, I clicked the picture, but suddenly had a very bad feeling about it, so he never received it. Next week, my best friend told me that he was showing people my nudes. She knew what I drew on myself, so I believed her. Turned out he had some other nudes as well on his phone and claimed that they were mine. He said he was drunk and didn’t remember anything, so I forgave him. Some people from my class has seen them. Now, some years later, I met someone from his team and he told me that the ex was definitely not drunk, he wanted to show off. He was also the one who told my best friend about this so that she could tell me.
2. While we were together, my (now ex-) boyfriend posted pictures of me on a swingers’ website. Apparently he was swapping them with other men for pictures of their wives/girlfriends too. When I found out I was very upset because I did not even know he had these pictures. My face was showing in them and I would never have consented to them being put online for anyone to see. What’s worse is that many of the people he sent the pictures to lived in the local area, so I could have been easily recognized. I made him take everything down, but I couldn’t do anything about copies held by other people. His excuse was “I didn’t think you’d mind.” We broke up shortly afterwards. I investigated taking legal action but apparently because they weren’t posted “with malicious intent,” I had nothing on him.
3. I found a short clip of me on a porn site, I had them remove it, they did it right away which I was very impressed and appreciative of. No idea if anyone I know has seen it. I spent a few hours checking amateur porn sites to see if it was uploaded anywhere else. Did that for a couple of weeks but it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack so I gave up.
4. I got posted on thedirty. I was seventeen, my ex posted me. A random stranger messaged me and said they were trying to let other people know before they got hurt by it. I contacted the site about me being underage, they didn’t do shit about it. No one I knew found out about it though, that I know of.
5. When I was sixteen I was dating a twenty-one-year-old. He secretly taped us having sex and when we broke up he put it on a revenge porn site. I emailed the site with a copy of my ID showing them that I was a minor and told them they had child porn on the site. They deleted it but I’m sure it had been saved/shared by the time they took it off of there.
6. My ex-boyfriend leaked naked pictures of me after I refused to sleep with him and told him I didn’t want to continue our relationship. I had sent a couple of pictures to him in the past because he would repeatedly ask me to and I caved in. He sent pictures to almost every guy I know, including my father. But as it turns out, they weren’t the pictures I sent him. I don’t have any memories of those pictures being taken, but they are definitely of me. Since I’m underage, I reported it to the police. I’ve been a wreck ever since. Constantly anxious, depressed and just overall not in a good mental state. I’ve been going to therapy and trying to have the police keep me updated. It hit me hard, to be exposed when I can’t even remember being photographed. He is twenty-one years old, while I’m seventeen. The cops have explored the possibility of me being drugged, but since the pictures seem to be months old that makes it impossible to test since the drugs have probably worked themselves out of my body. After he distributed the pictures, he moved across the state, so that adds more complexity to the case. He also bragged to several of the guys he sent the pictures to that he has “tons more of them.”
7. Ex-girlfriend sent intimate photos of me to my friends after we broke up. They ended up circulating in my town, some people sent them further on. Woke up about two weeks after it all began to a message from a girl from my hometown, nine hours away. She saw them, knew immediately it was me (birthmark on my chest), and got back in touch after twelve years of silence to see if I was okay. How did my ex-girlfriend affect my life by spreading my nudes? She got me my current girlfriend.
8. I was nineteen and had recently run into an old fuck buddy. We hooked up again and started hanging out. When I told him this was nothing more than sex he got pissed and took a video of us without my knowledge. A few weeks pass and while I’m at work a buddy of mine stops in and tells me there is a sex tape of me being shown around the railroad. I didn’t bother to do anything about it. The damage had already been done, so who cares. A few years later I found out the tape ended up at my friend’s house and he beat the shit out of the guy and broke the tape. I was upset at the time, but it really wasn’t a huge deal.
9. Had pictures of my penis forwarded to three people. Potential employer (I was at the interview stage), an ex-girlfriend (before the psycho one) and an old friend. I didn’t get the job. The woman who interviewed me basically spent the whole time questioning me about it (I’d apologised and explained my ex was nuts but apparently it wasn’t enough). My ex-girlfriend thought it was funny, said she’d missed “him” and we hooked up one last time. The old friend said, “Ewww, gross.” We reconnected briefly, got together, smoked some weed and watched movies. Only saw her a few times after that. So not that bad. I mean, I’d prefer it hadn’t happened but it wasn’t life-ruining.
10. So this is actually a little different as a man, but about a year ago while in college I had a girl start talking to me on Snapchat from out of state. She was cute so I took the opportunity and traded nudes with her and I thought we just had a good time. Well, someone I didn’t know started messaging me weeks later and it turned out he had the pictures I had sent to the girl I’d traded with. It turned out that a closeted guy from my hometown had recruited this girl to get nudes from me and several other guys. I talked to him and basically said I wasn’t interested but he was persistent about hooking up with me and didn’t care about his blackmailing. So these pictures got spread through the gay community in my town even to a couple of good friends but honestly it didn’t bother me too much. I just moved on.
11. So my ex was a douche but I was young and married him at eighteen. We were together for less than two years before we split. During that time I obliged him with nudes but thankfully left my face out of the photos. Fast forward sometime later and I meet a guy. We are hitting it off really well and decide to move in together. We had the porn talk and found out what the other liked. One day I’m doing homework and he comes in and says, “Hey, is this you?” And proceeds to show me a nude of myself online. I was mortified and fully expected that to result in an argument. What I did not expect is his complete understanding and faith in the fact that I did not post those and they were from a few years prior with my ex. He not only remained calm about the ordeal but didn’t bring it back up later. We have been married for almost two years now. This all happened about five years ago. Even though he enjoys teasing me about things that make me uncomfortable, he doesn’t bring this up and to my knowledge has not tried to find those photos again. All in all, I’m pretty damn lucky with my experience.
12. Thankfully I didn’t have my face or hair in view of the camera. So my ex leaked mine, sent them to a bunch of my friends. Even if they did think it was me, there wasn’t any proof. They were mostly just mad at him for spreading my nudes around. I even had strangers stick up for me, so that was cool. I didn’t have tattoos or anything back then, nothing really stood out on my body. For all they know, he could have just found a teen online with a similar body shape. And yes. I did say teen. He leaked my illegal nudes.
Here is what you should do if you ever find yourself in a similar situation.