In our 20s, it isn’t just our career that defines us but also, our relationships. And it isn’t just our relationship with our family and friends but also, the people we date.

I recently turned 25. My mind keeps wandering into the relationship zone and leaves me befuddled as to what is it that I must do about them. On one hand, I love being in relationships; they make me happy. On the other hand, I feel like I don’t have enough time or mental space to be in a committed one.

There are also other factors like parental pressure (to get married, of course!) and the constant realisation that I am not gonna get any younger.

But all this thinking has made me realise one thing — avoiding relationships in my 20s could be one of the worst mistakes I would make. I completely understand the “to each his own” concept and hence, this piece simply states a perspective that is thought-provoking, so read it with an open mind and a non-judgmental vision.

1. If you’re with one person for a longer period of time, the quality and the quantity of sexual experience can be much more fulfilling than one-night-stand every week.

Meeting random people for fulfilling physical and emotional needs can be exhausting and consuming. I am not saying one-night-stands aren’t nice, I am simply asking, is this something you would really like to do on a regular basis? For some, the answer maybe yes, but for the others, I feel you.

2. We fear losing our focus to a relationship but one is able to focus better on the things that really matter to them when they are in a healthy relationship with someone.

There are two kinds of relationships, according to me. A happy one and a toxic one. If you’re in the latter, you will certainly end up exhausting each other emotionally, and sometimes physically and gradually, the relationship will consume you entirely and distract you from your mission.

But if you’re dating someone who you can share your goals and ideas with, and if they support you in your purpose, have similar values in life, then obviously, both of you will benefit from it. Instead of seeing it as a distraction, you’d feel like you’re able to focus better on the things that really matter to you.

3. Being single might mean more focus for some people but most people end up more confused, less focused, and without a home base to get back to after a long day of working on their mission.

I don’t think so. It really depends on the state of mind of a person but if you’re someone who loves love and loves making love, you’d find yourself getting involved in the ‘search’ quite a lot.

There is nothing wrong with that lifestyle. One can date and meet new people as much as they want. I have been there too. It was part fun, part frustrating. Although, I find it ridiculous when someone claims that it provides them with more fuel to get work done and achieve their set targets because it is not true! 

4. While it seems like the entire world is singing celebratory songs of singledom, and how it sets all of us free, something about the security of a relationship sets me free to do whatever I want in my work.

One has to realise that the grass is always greener on the side and hence, when you’re in a relationship, you’d have to deal with different kind of problems. But, one grows and learns better when they are stable. A good relationship can give you a mind space to grow indefinitely. A relationship is work and I ain’t denying that but it’s an enjoyable struggle that becomes second nature really fast. In addition to that, your creative energy flows more freely if you feel loved and protected.

5. Your family won’t constantly bug you to see if you’re dating anyone — they already know and love them.

Family pressure can become really intense for some of us to handle. Parents forcing you into a marriage to someone you’re not sure about can be really damaging. 

6. You get to know what you want and what you do not want from a relationship early on in your life.

Because of the number of experiences you have had, you learn to set boundaries and understand your needs better.

7. If you’re lucky and you find Mr/Miss Right while you’re in this process, you can give all the late 20s, early 30s internal and external drama and pressure a miss.

When you’re in your late 20s and early 30s, 

8. When you are younger, you make mistakes and you learn from it.

Relationships teach us difficult lessons sometimes, but we should be glad we made them now and prepared us in the long run. Things will never be easy and relationships too will never be a bed of roses, but the sooner we learn that, the better. 

In the end of the day though, one must realise two things:

(a) To each his own.

(b) One must be comfortable in their own lives and stay as awesome when alone as they are when they are with someone.

If one isn’t capable of staying happy outside of a relationship, there is no way any relationship would work.

Picture courtesy: Pexels