It kind of in the very nature of poop, isn’t it? To cause inescapable trouble when you take it out of its comfort zone – your home loo. And hence the unchanging fact that we all have at least one severely embarrassing poop story. I know I for sure have one that I’ve never told anyone.


Well, the ever-unforgiving Poop Gods really did a number on @_blotty just recently. Courage incarnate, this young girl revealed her poop truth to the world via Twitter the other day and boy was it hilarious AF.

Even just the opening tweet is enough to catch the wandering eye.

What started out as a cute Hollywood rom-com…

Very soon turned into an absolute horror-thriller.

I mean, imagine. Alarms going off in your head.

This is when shit really hit the fan. While remaining in her hand, that is.

Wait for it…

Yep. That happened.

The rest of the evening was obviously a romantic blur.

She looked to her loved ones for advice, too. Very calmly, I might add.

And eventually the universe came through for her.

An absolute shit-storm right there. Figuratively and literally.

Here’s hoping that her story will help women out there carry on fooling the men of the world into thinking they don’t have a butthole.

All is well that ends well, I suppose. You, my friend, are a hero. *slow clap*