First of all, stop being such a feminist.

Yes, I used the G word. The highest insult there is.

Listen, he does not like you hairy down there.

So shave up real good.

But dammit, you are taking too long!

You don’t want to be late

Hurry up, do it quickly!

Laugh, when his friend smirks at him,“Women, huh?”

But most important of all,

He likes to watch the game,

Remember, it is okay.

Make sure you- like- don’t-like-talk, I mean, like this.

So what if he does not remember your anniversary?

This poem (which is obviously sarcastic) was written by Kavita Sarmah. You can follow her work here.