As much as we’d love to, we rarely find ‘the one’ right away. Relationships mean different things to different people, and it even takes a lot of time to understand what we want for ourselves. So, it’s not always perfect. At times, we end up with people or relationships that are toxic, which can lead to a lot of baggage. But, it doesn’t help, except for knowing what we want and what works for us. 

Well, Redditors have some advice, based on what they learned from toxic relationships:

1. “Only date someone because you want to date that specific person, not just because you want to date.”

2. “You can’t ‘fix’ people. If they are messed up, you cannot make them better. Only they can, and they have to want to do it for themselves.”

3. “People think that if you love someone hard enough it will somehow magically work out. People are wrong.”

4. “Don’t listen to their words. Pay attention to their actions. If they don’t match, it’s time to pack it up.”

5. “Balance all aspects of your life.”

6. “Gotta love yourself before you can love someone else.”

7. “Don’t let people treat you like shit. Make sure you’re getting out as much as you put in.”

8. “That I’d rather not be in one.”

9. “Don’t sugarcoat things when you have an issue and get your point across. If you let the other person talk you out of something, you’re just going to feel like shit and the problem isn’t going to get solved.”

– nezbi

10. “Don’t be a doormat.”

11. “Mutual obsession is not love.”

– OverPot

12. “Don’t be someone’s second choice. Also, once the trust is destroyed, it’s so much stress and anxiety to wonder if they’re being honest for the rest of the relationship.”

Baggage is unhealthy.