The stories of unrequited love are harder than how they’re reflected in the movies. When you love somebody deeply and passionately, and you know that your feelings can never get any concrete reciprocation, it’s just the most difficult place to be in.
You cannot really blame the other person for what they are not feeling. Nobody understands you. You just have to gulp the reality, learn to be okay with it, and move on. Redditors are talking about how it feels to be in this exact position, and their responses will move you.
1. “It’s like having a virus that takes over your whole body and you still have to go to work, cook, clean, and handle all your responsibilities while all you want to do is fall into bed and drift off to sleep and dream of an alternate reality where you are together.”
2. “The dreams are one of the worst parts. Your mind, ever a traitor, is like ‘remember how good this feels?’ and you’re so happy and then you wake up and your reality is all the more crushing. To this day I hate dreaming.”
3. “For the past 22 years, whenever I dream about a girl, its always the same one. She doesnt even remember I exist.”
4. “It’s a little sexual frustration, combined with lack of motivation, and a loss of concentration. It’s a strange disease.”
5. “It’s the worst feeling of despair. I woke up crying all the time. It’s a cycle of depression and delusion.”
6. “The dreams are so painful. A couple nights ago I dreamt of us being together and I woke up so happy and then realized it wasn’t real. I couldn’t stop crying, the switch from blissful to heartbroken was so instant. It was awful and terrible and incredibly heartbreaking. It wasn’t even such a detailed dream it was just us two watching a movie and being close.”
7. “Deep and lingering sadness. You want it to stop but it won’t. You try to forget, but a tiny part if you will always remember even after a decade, and always feel less for not being the one they chose…”
8. “The person I love died in 2009. I think about him every day. I go through phases where it hurts less and phases where my heart is in physical pain. I have gotten married and gotten divorced since his death. I have been in another long term relationship and had a child. I am currently single and have been for the majority of 3 years it’s easier this way. It’s easier to accept that I found real love and will never feel it the same why I did then. So I choose to stay single now. I’m actually happier this way. The weird part is how over a decade later I still have the same nightmares (or a version of them) I started having all those years ago.”
9. “At 48 it sucks just as much as it did at 17. Different people obviously.”
10. “Like being punched in the abdomen where u no longer have the ability to breathe normally for a minute or two everytime u think that the person you want a life with can’t be yours.”
11. “It’s just awful. You can distract yourself but every time it comes up, an overwhelming feeling of frustration, anger, sadness, grief washes over you. On the other hand a tiny bit of hope still remains inside of you, maybe things will fall into place and you will be with them. It’s like an addiction and a fire that consumes you.”
12. “It sucks. You think about them a lot. Usually the first thing you think about in the morning, and the last thought through your mind when your head hits the pillow. A random smell gets your attention during the day and it reminds them of you. Or your server has their smile, or a stranger has their eyes or hair. And you miss them. But, at the end of the day, you hope they are happy, healthy, and loved. Even if not by you. That’s what love is.”
13. “It just constantly follows you , most people think that loving is missing someone when you are down but actual love is constant and you notice it even more when you can’t be with them . At every good moment you find yourself thinking how would it have been if they had been there. You just constantly long for a version of your life that you can’t have.”
14. “A little sad sometimes, but most of the times surprisingly cheerful and sweet. Its kinda beautiful in a way, because of its nature. It doesn’t matter how much time goes by, deep down in you heart you will always love them with the same purity and wish them the best of everything.”
15. “Like you’ve lost something that’s only just begun to form, you feel like you can’t be upset at losing it because there’s nothing there to lose, but you can’t help but mourn the possibility of what could have been, you torture yourself over and over with the intimate moments you could’ve had, the laughs you could’ve shared, the small quiet moments that could have been yours had things only planned out differently. Your mind is trapped in an endless loop of what might have been, but you can’t ever really picture it, because it’s not real, it’s like looking through broken glass, you can only ever get a distorted image of what might have been.”
16. “Definitely difficult. My bf just broke up with me a few days ago and we’ve been off and on for a bit now for reasons, but it’s like having something permanently stuck in your throat and sick to your stomach and feeling completely empty inside. I’ve had no appetite either. It’s painful.”
17. “As someone who is a lesbian (and lives in a I wouldn’t say conservative area but it definitely doesn’t have enough lesbian or bi out there) it is a really big struggle to like someone especially if you know that they either don’t like you or are straight. And what makes it worse is that I see my friends getting in relationships and I’m still chasing over someone who I know I probably won’t get a chance with at all”
18. “I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Especially when it’s after a relatively amicable break up and you still love that person. It feels like a part of your soul left with them and there’s no way to go back to how you felt before. Moments where you have nothing else to occupy your thoughts on are the worst because the memories immediately fill that time, memories that on one hand you cherish and on the other wish you could forget entirely to make the pain go away.”
19. “Pretty shitty, especially if you’re friends with said people. You feel guilty for wishing you were with them instead of their partner. And it’s hard to get over seeing them a bunch. It fades with time at least.”
20. “Like a thousand little broken dreams of a possible life you could have lived together, 40-60 years shattering in an instant like a pane of glass. You are simply left with a bitter bile of hoping she has a good life somewhere else, and miserable that you weren’t the one she wanted to pursue that with. Then you move on, and maybe you think of her now and then. It’s always a little bitter sweet, but you hope she’s happy even as you find your legs to start walking towards what will make you happy again as well.”
21. “You will always love this person in someway, it may take years, but it does get better. Found the only thing that helped that process in the end was completely cutting contact as much as that hurts so much in itself, you keep yourself in a total state of turmoil having them at arms reach, able to message them or see what they’re doing still day to day. Take the time to find out who you are, as an individual. Grow and never stop growing. Get out there and make friends doesn’t matter how just do it, join clubs, go to that friends party where you haven’t seen them in 10yrs, meet people even if you don’t want to right now. Be your best self, eventually someone will find you and you will realize you deserved so much more than this person ever thought of you.”
I guess, as they say, time really is a great healer. It clears all clutters. One has to try to hang in there and focus on the good things in life.