Falling in love should be thrilling and not exhausting. A lot has been spoken about the things we should do in a relationship or how to maintain them. But rarely do we talk about how to unlove someone or rather end a relationship that’s not working.
We know it’s not easy to call quits on someone you love or who means the world to you. But here are some subtle signs that will help you differentiate between what is love and what is not.
Here are 15 signs that you need to walk away from a relationship now:
1. “When it’s not fun being around them/they cause you sadness/trouble more than it’s worth staying with them when what you feel isn’t love just some attachment or something, etc plenty signs.”
2. “When I started to think of our future together and realized I dreaded the idea of marrying him and starting a family. We had so many problems just dating that adding a new responsibility to it felt impossible.”
3. “When I started to lie about how happy I was in my relationship with my friends, family, and myself.”
4. “If more than 30% of conversations are arguments with no external stresses (lost job, familial deaths/emergencies, debts, car problems, etc.), it’s time to move on. A relationship that sucks, even when nothing else is to blame but the two in it, is no longer a relationship. It’s a contractual debate.”
5. “As soon as you start fantasizing about how much better life would be without it/them. Once those thoughts start you know it is time for a change.”
6. “Anger issues: they may flare up and rage over insignificant things and then act “normal” immediately after just because you’re there. That’s bizarre if not creepy, to me. Always incapable of keeping promises.”
7. “Being upset about an issue, Talking about it with the person and being ignored. Then repeating the same convo, over and over again. They aren’t listening/don’t care.”
8. “When the biggest reason I wanted to hang out with her was to make sure she wasn’t cheating on me still.”
9. “Any kind of abuse. Whether it be verbal, physical, emotional, etc. I know that for many people it’s easier to think about that actually doing it, but it’s certainly a sign to get the fuck out of there.”
10. “Do you trust, love, and respect each other? Does that show in actions? Can you communicate clearly and constructively with each other and overcome challenges together? If it doesn’t, and you can’t fix it, then the relationship is over.”
11. “When you realize whatever you are involved in is changing you for the worse. One day I looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize who was looking back at me. I had conformed to this person I didn’t like and didn’t know. I instantly understood that it was because of my now ex-wife. Not her fault, she didn’t “make” me change. I just changed to match her lifestyle. I had to leave and I’ve been a much happier person since.”
12. “When personal boundaries are crossed. They don’t respect you and it’ll only get worse. Just cut it off now.”
13. “When you feel numb. When they gaslight you. When they can’t stop their addiction and leave on drug binges for days at a time. When you feel “yourself” when they aren’t around. When it just doesn’t really matter anymore.”
14. “When I realized I was making excuses to get OUT of spending time with him, rather than just making time. A relationship shouldn’t be an obligation.”
15. “When she doesn’t involve me in anything to do with her. She goes out, I’m never invited. It’s always a “girls’ night” or “invite-only”. If she wanted me there, she would make it happen. It’s been a year, and I keep catching her bullshitting me. I need to let go.