If you are an overthinker, it’s obvious that you may create scenarios in your head, plan contingents, and think through a lot of situations. Most of the time, people ask you to stop overthinking, which is out of the radar.
Similarly, if you are overthinking in a relationship, you magnify everything and every emotion. But you can always learn to manage it, right? Here are some tips from Redditors on how to manage overthinking in a relationship.
1. “When you talk to your S/O about whatever you’re overthinking, frame it as “the story I’m telling myself”. It opens up a dialog on the topic you’re overthinking about and allows them to put your worries at ease. Never failed me yet!”
2. “Both my partner and I tend to do this, and openly talking about it has helped us a lot. We both make sure the other knows that they are free to bring up insecurities or anxiety, and we do it by checking in with each other.”
3. “Ask. Literally the easiest and hardest thing to do. Be prepared for hard truths. This takes a lot of self-assurance. Ask to spend time together. Ask if an action they did was about you. Communicate your emotions and learn to do so with love and compassion.”
4. “Talking to my partner instead of building paranoia in my head. Like I used to get home from work and be really bothered that he didn’t come down and kiss me/welcome me home. Started going in circles thinking he didn’t care, that he’d rather think I wasn’t home, that he didn’t love me and it could just spiral. All in my head. So yes, talk to your partner, get things in perspective and practice CBT, it’s really worked for me!”
5. “Reminding yourself that worrying about whatever you’re worrying about won’t actually change the outcome.”
6. “Sometimes I have to tell myself to knock it off. There are times I can tell it’s just my anxiety and I have a talk with myself in my head. It also helps to journal about good times, not just bad. When I’m feeling insecure or not enough, I look back on the good times and remind myself how good that feels instead of sitting alone overthinking. Communication also helps. My boyfriend overthinks as well and sometimes we just have to let each other know when we’re struggling so we can work through it together.”
7. “Be honest. Use your voice and communicate. If it sounds too much, at least it’s being brought to light, and this way your S/O has the chance to help you simplify your thoughts about it.”
8. “Never LIE to an Overthinker. If you lie to them they will constantly think about that until they find a suitable reason. Most of the time they are trying to figure out where they were wrong that made you lie to them.”
9. “Be OK with making lots of decisions. Overthinkers usually suffer from indecisiveness. They cannot easily make decisions, instead, they think a lot, imagining every perspective. And the results are almost null.”
10. “All we want is to be reassured and feel safe in the relationship again. I hope everyone sees this having the partners that will listen, assure, and grow with you figuring things out.”