An eerie manipulation technique, love bombing is a covert mechanism employed by narcissists, abusers and con-artists to exert absolute control over their romantic partners. The most haunting part – it’s virtually impossible to detect.
Love bombing is such a red flag yo— 🤴🏽King Kai🤴🏽(they/he) (@KaiaSinclair) February 13, 2022
Love bombing in the beginning feels a lot like love when you don’t have self love.— Kindall D. (@beenthatgirltoo) February 7, 2022
love bombing is real, stay safe and aware— KC 🇳🇬🦎 (@nigerianprynce) February 14, 2022
Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person,
“And as the recipient, love bombing feels really good because of the boost of dopamine and endorphins you receive. You feel special, needed, loved, valuable, and worthy, which are all the components that contribute to and increase a person’s self-esteem.” – explains licensed therapist Sasha Jackson, in an interview with Cosmopolitan.
You are hit with an overwhelming amount of obsessive flattery, persistent complimentary texting, lavish gifts and over-the-top gestures. The catch? You’re lured into a vicious cycle of emotional debt and unconscious command.
Another major red flag is when your partner begins to isolate you from your friends and family. It might appear as an innocent gesture – your partner wants to spend all of their time alone with you. But the reality is quite grim. The person is probably a narcissist attempting to detach you from the other connections in your life as a way of exercising their ownership over you.
An IRL example? The Netflix Original The Tinder Swindler
An IRL example of love bombing is seen in Netflix’s latest documentary The Tinder Swindler. A supposed globe-trotting diamond mogul with billions in his pockets showers new Tinder matches with incessant adulation, gigantic flower bouquets, private planes, expensive hotel rooms and all the affirmation they could ever need, in an attempt to gain control over his victims. And once he wins over their trust, he cons them out of their money.
Another recent example is Kanye West’s flurry of social media posts towards his former wife Kim Kardashian:
What is #LoveBombing?— Nicole Minet (@mouvement33) February 15, 2022
Emotional manipulation in which a narcissist “bombs” you with an over-the-top amount of affection, flattery, gifts, and praise early in the relationship in order to win over your attention for the purpose of being able to control you.
See @kanyewest. pic.twitter.com/aTt81U1ONk
Kanye is actually a very VERY scary partner to have . Because he can go on social media and say the worst things about Kim . Then come back to huge public displays of affection and love bombing. what a very very scary man. https://t.co/Y5lXrGeHKt— BadCompany (@NashLumu) February 15, 2022
NOBODY DESERVES THIS.— Reverie True Crime Podcast (@ReverieCrimePod) February 15, 2022
“I’m going to get my family back.”
THIS IS ABUSIVE.
When does it stop?
This behavior will NOT make anyone want to go back to you.
If she does, don’t shame her. You never know the reason(s) people go back to their abusers. pic.twitter.com/RLtr9ekmpG
nothing kanye west is doing is romantic, lovable etc it’s stalking, obsessive, dangerous love bombing. No one should ever have to go through that and no one should look up to that. He is toxic and dangerous.— Bina (@bina137x) February 15, 2022
Kanye is expressing narcissistic, love bombing, manipulation, & full on emotional abuse..and I’m not here for it. It’s very triggering to watch his behaviors and though I love Kanye he needs help and I do not support his current behaviors.— Cassanova (@_CassandraAlysa) February 15, 2022
In a successful, healthy relationship there needs to exist a bond of mutual trust and desire with equal reciprocity among both partners. But in cases of love bombing, “attention flows in a singular direction – one person tries to become the other’s whole world.” The grand expressions of affection might seem straight out of a rom-com, but it comes at the cost of your autonomy.
The act is extremely detrimental to your mental health. In many cases, it is a form of emotional abuse that leads to a loss of self. You get hooked on their adoring performances and begin to ignore the red flags masked as signs of maltreatment. You begin to feel like you owe them your endearment in exchange for their endless validation. Gradually, you submit yourself to the relationship.