Especially liaisons that were layered with innocence, patience and a great deal of charm. Nothing was rushed and there were not many complications. Yes, there were difficulties but then, the end result was all worth the effort. Nothing like what you experience today, though.

Today, a liaison is just an app away. No worries of peeking neighbours, no need to find reclusive spots to have a chat. When you’ve got a smartphone and a steady internet connection, there’s little you’ll require to go about your business. 

Unfortunately, this ‘business’ includes everything but a decent conversation. You know, the old-school, sitting at a cafe, looking into each other’s eyes and actually talking. 

Everyone’s busy meeting at a bar, having a few drinks and hooking up after. If two consenting adults want to indulge in a night of casual pleasure, there’s nothing wrong with that. But is life just about a night of not-so-intimate intimacy? 

Only, if only, the couple knew each other just a little bit better! 

There’s a lot to be said about getting to know someone, slowly, one conversation at a time. 

When you meet as relative strangers, attraction is majorly physical. With one look, you’re clear whether something about the person is appealing or not. If it is, you pursue them further, asking them out for a drink. Meeting at the nearest, most convenient watering hole, the two of you talk about anything that flows as ‘natural conversation’. 

However, everything about that conversation is a lead up. A lead up to sex, that is. In that moment, are you really getting to know the person? Certainly not on the first date, right? Because on the first date, you’re only interested to know if they’re a good kisser and/or able to sexually satisfy you. 

Deny it all that you can but you know just how true it is. Modern dating begins with sex. Unfortunately, it ends soon after, too. 

If only we took more time, getting to know someone, things could be way different. 

You’d know their taste in food. Choice in clothes. Favourite holiday destinations. The movies they like. The music they listen to. Their friends, family and even, foes. You’d know the person before knowing their body. 

And then, you’d be able to have better, more organic conversations with them. You’d know their mind and understand their thoughts. You’d appreciate them for their intellect, ideologies and imperfections.

Basically, you’d know the person for who they are and not how they look. And as a result, you’ll relate to them at a deeper, more real level. What’s that got to do with sex, is it? 

Knowing someone forms a connection and at the end of the day, a connection is what leads to great sex!

Sex in today’s times has become just another act. 

You brush your teeth, take a bath, go to work, have a meal and have sex. Yes, ideally, sex should be considered just as normal an activity as everything else. But does that mean that sex loses all its charm and all its excitement? More power to believers of less-commitment-more-coitus but when sex goes mainstream, it also loses major steam. It isn’t worth cherishing and quality-control is rarely in your hands. 

If you’re having random sex with even more random people, are you even experiencing sex for what it’s supposed to be? Or, you’re having sex because you’re supposed to have sex and not having enough of it will make you feel uncool, unwanted or undesired? 

The last time I checked, sex was supposed to make you feel on top of the world. But if you’re on top of every Ram, Shyam and Ghanshyam in town, you won’t really be in for a long ride, right?

Let’s make sex a little more special, shall we?

Take time to get to know the person you’re going to spending the night with. Talk. Engage. Get truly intimate. Just because you know their name, age and phone number, you don’t really know them. 

And if not knowing them enough doesn’t stop you from getting down and dirty, well, good for you. But know that somewhere between getting in and coming out, you’re not really making the most of what you have. Don’t limit sex to a bodily equation. Yes, it’s about anatomies. But it’s also about the mind and soul. 

And if you really want to experience pure, carnal pleasure, you’ll need some mental stimulation too!