The other night, she called me sounding sullen, hiding both frustration and anger in her voice. It wasn’t like her to get mad over something petty and I inquired if everything was good. It wasn’t from what I could get as she went about explaining how everything about her relationship was perfect apart from the sex. 

“He’s always in a rush. Eager to just get down to it. Why can’t Indian men spend more time on foreplay?“

I could tell the question was rhetoric and smartly chose to merely nod. Now I may be quite keen on tending to the bushes before jumping onto the flower, but not all men are the same, right?

From what I’ve read on the internet and heard from women of all ages, Indian men ain’t the biggest fans of foreplay. 

Foreplay is a crucial step for sex. It’s a prerequisite for both the partners to have a mind-blasting orgasm. Unfortunately, no one seems to have told Indian men that! 

According to this survey, 35% Indian women would like their men to indulge in more foreplay as part of their sexual wish list. And as per another survey, 95% women admitted to a longer foreplay session as their biggest sexual fantasy.  

“A lot of men are sex-deprived. So when they do get a chance, they like to go for the kill instead of enjoying the experience. I think for a lot of men, sex is more of a physical act than an intimate exploration of bodies and personalities” – Shamita Sharma, 27, PR Executive (name changed on request). 

Clearly, Indian men are way too busy doing the ‘main’ thing, completely forgetting all the lead up to it. As a result, women are left feeling not satiated and totally unsatisfied! 

The biggest problem with sex in India is that men and women view it totally differently! 

For women, sex isn’t just about penetration. They’d rather have their man kiss, touch and caress their body, use his fingers and tongue and slowly heat things up. But for men, it’s like a race to the finish – the faster they get to the drill, the better their sexual experience. 

For the record, foreplay isn’t some sort of avoidable entree ahead of the big meal. It won’t come in the way of you fully enjoying the final dish. It’s part of the main course or at least, one of the five courses of the meal. And if done right, it’s the perfect appetizer to tease your hunger pangs before you thrust your way into the climax! 

Sex is one of the few pleasures that include all our sensory organs. Why is it then that most men are happy using just one? 

Use the tongue to tantalize, nose to smell the garden full of roses, hear all the sounds she makes as you carefully caress her body and soak in the sight of her beaming with excitement. 

Like it or not, most women admit to not having an orgasm with sexual intercourse alone! 

As per this survey, 38% women have confessed to not receiving enough clitoral stimulation (with the tongue and/or fingers) and 35% said that the stimulation wasn’t the right kind. Overall, 50% women said they can only orgasm with a combination of intercourse as well as oral sex.

“Intercourse might be the best thing about sex for men but it doesn’t work like that for women. We need a lot more than just his penis to get a good orgasm!” – Gunjan Malhotra, 28, Chartered Accountant (name changed on request).

Basically, women need much more than penile stimulation to really, truly get off. Can men start with the foreplay, already?