A majority of men feel a sense of accomplishment when they’re able to make a woman orgasm. Whether it is courtesy of the repeated pelvic thrusts or some finger-action, once (more like, if) a woman finishes, men seem to achieve some self-proclaimed sainthood.
Most men fail to understand that penetrative sex doesn’t cut it for a lot of women. While some do achieve orgasm through penetrative sex, that number is too small to be generalized for every woman.
Here are a few reasons why women fake orgasms in the first place:
1. We’re conditioned to believe we absolutely have to orgasm
You can blame porn for this because all the women seem to be orgasming multiple times in a 15 minute clip. How is that even possible? Thanks to this ridiculous and false representation in porn, many women go on to believe that it’s imperative to finish, or at least fake the finish, so that they don’t come across as sore losers who can’t manage an orgasm.
2. Lack of foreplay
It depends a lot on the kind of man you are. If you’re really into foreplay and have all your bases covered, your woman shouldn’t have any problem getting her juices flowing. But if you’re the kind who is not into foreplay, you might want to rethink your strategy. Because trust me, a woman loves a little tease, and more often than not, it’s the only thing that will help her get in the mood AND finish. A major lack of foreplay in relationships can be why a lot of women fake it in bed.
3. In a long term relationship, things tend to get monotonous
You’ve been dating him for a year now and sex has become monotonous. The only thing you can do is fake an orgasm. And not for yourself. It’s so that your partner can feel good about the fact that he’s making you cum and move on to finish himself. That way, it gets over sooner. Get it?
Well, truth be told, sex can get monotonous if you don’t make attempts to reignite the fire. So instead of faking it, talking and changing things in the bedroom is the way to go about it. Unless you’re really tired of the sex and there’s absolutely no hope left.
4. Sometimes, it just isn’t happening
“I have faked an orgasm just to get it over with because I knew it wasn’t going to happen,” says a 25-year-old woman.
There are times when sex starts feeling like drilling and that’s when we really need to get it over with. Because, trust me, non-stop humping seldom makes a woman cum. And instead of telling you that it isn’t happening, women choose to fake it. Bad call, but it works.
5. We don’t want to hurt your feelings
“A lot of times, I know it’s not going to happen with certain people, so it’s easier to just fake it than tell them and hurt their feelings,” says a 26-year-old woman.
Women often end up faking an orgasm because a lot of men take it personally when they can’t help a woman finish. If you do it in a one-night stand kinda situation, it’s fine. But in the longer run, I suggest you speak to your partner about it. Else, you will just have to fake it every time, for the rest of your life. Now that’s too much of a burden to live with, is it not?
6. To make you feel a little better about all the effort you put in
“He was at it for at least 10 minutes. While he occasionally did almost get me there, he just couldn’t make me cum. He tried real hard, and I felt really bad for him,” says a 24-year-old.
We really do appreciate you going down on us for the last 15 minutes and we know how much the jaw can hurt. But sometimes, you’re just not doing it right and instead of telling you that you’ve got it all wrong and make you feel like shit, we fake it.
Making a woman orgasm is no rocket science. It’s quite easy if you know the wheres and the hows. Just as you discovered what works for you and what doesn’t, you’ve got to understand a woman’s body in a similar way. However, the onus of achieving an orgasm rests with the woman alone. For men to get better at it, and to have a better sex life, we’d say constructive criticism is the way to go, ladies.
Women have been doing it for eons, and I bet Cleopatra did it too. But for that to change, men got to get down and dirtier than they’re ready to, and women need to start addressing what they want in bed.
So ladies, stop faking it and let your juices flow freely.