Some people prefer baby-free environments, whether that’s during a flight, or during a wedding. And while it’s okay to have such preferences, it’s not a practical expectation. This bride posted on Reddit asking people if she’s the asshole for being upset about her sister-in-law declining to come to her wedding because she wants a baby-free wedding is a great example.
u/notmymain8177 feels that her sister-in-law is declining the invite to her wedding to threaten her, but the internet feels otherwise. Many have tried explaining to her that it’s difficult to leave a new born baby home, without the mother.
Here, take a look at what else people have said:
1. “Are you okay with your SIL skipping the wedding? If not, then YTA. It’s not ‘hard’ to leave a newborn. It’s nearly impossible. Even when it is possible, it’s incredibly difficult. Those early months are tough. If you’re ok with her missing, then NAH.”
2. “I’ve been to weddings where babies cried and it’s never been an issue? A parent whisks them away, maybe people laugh a little, and everything moves on. Maybe it comes out as a story to tease the kid a little later, but it’s so unnoticeable that even that doesn’t happen.”
3. “1977 during my sister’s wedding, a cousin brought her 6-week-old who screamed through the entire ceremony. I remember that more than anything else.”
4. “A good question to ask would be if SIL would be willing to move the baby to another space if it did start screaming and crying.”
5. “The vast majority of child free weddings that I’ve been to have had infants attend. The babies have been too young to be left with a sitter (or they’re all at the wedding) & have been the exception.”
6. “It’s not just about having a babysitter, it’s also about the logistics. If she can’t feed the baby at regular intervals, then pumping is a pain, as well as having to figure out where/how to store milk safely. Something is telling me OP doesn’t really understand the logistics involved.”
7. “YTA because you’re calling her choice to not come to your wedding a ‘threat.’ That’s the only reasonable option left for her. If you want her there, you’re going to need to make an accommodation for her baby. A few weeks old is far too young to expect her to leave the child with someone else. If you’re unwilling to make an exception, tell her that you understand that she won’t be able to attend.”
8. “5 minutes of a crying baby feels like a terribly long time when they aren’t yours though. OP needs to find another solution if she wants SIL to be there. Either help with a care plan or stop being rude about SIL declining to attend.”
9. “Honestly, all newborns are different, but unless they’re colicky, potato phase is easy, from a crying standpoint. They cry when they need something (usually food or a diaper change, sometimes cuddles or have gas). Beyond that, they sleep 17-20 hours a day. Ours has been to happy hours, breweries, restaurants, he’s never had a meltdown we couldn’t solve in five minutes.”
10. “They ALL eat, nearly all the time. If she breastfeeds, then SIL will either be hiding away pumping somewhere or leaking through her dress. More likely both.
If OP doesn’t want a single child there, that’s fine! But it’s completely unreasonable to expect the mother of a new baby to agree to leave that baby home.”
It seems the internet has spoken. And the comments make sense, because you can’t have everything your way. If the SIL wants to skip the wedding to take care of her baby, so be it!
