They say marriages are made in heaven, but since they are executed on Earth, it is always advisable to talk things out. Here are a few topics that you may want to cover before tying the knot to let your married life be as smooth as possible.
1. How are you going to take care of the combined finances?
Marriage can’t function only on love, and money may just turn out to be as important in keeping your relationship afloat. Who pays EMIs, who pays the rent, these are questions that need to be discussed. If one of you is planning to be a homemaker, a separate discussion needs to be done so that things don’t get stressful later.
2. Where have you and your partner invested money in?
This is in continuation of the first point. A lot of people have investment plans they put some of their money in. It would be good o lay these things out on the table, so that your partner knows how much money is coming home, and how much is going to the bank account.
3. How many kids you want? If at all.
This goes without saying. The two of you need to be on the same page about how many kids you want, if at all. And when you want them. The expectation to reproduce when one doesn’t want is very scarring, and so is the expectation to not do it if one desires to.
4. What happens if your respective jobs require you to shift?
What if your partner finds their dream job or dream project 5 years after marriage? There should be an arrangement and an understanding of what you’ll do in that case. The same goes for you, which means your partner should also be prepared of you getting an opportunity you don’t want to say no to.
5. What are your political/religious preferences?
If you are in a long-term relationship, you probably know these already. But if you haven’t been, it would be wise to discuss them in advance. In any case, a conversation about these should be good, especially because the way religious customs conventionally play out after marriage can be quite different.
6. How much space needs to be given and/or is desired?
Can’t stress this enough. You need to know when to leave your partner alone and they need to know when you want to be left alone. It shouldn’t lead to any fights or discomfort.
7. How much care/assistance do your families need?
Whether it’s financial help, or emotional, it should be made clear in advance. The fact that you need to be physically there for your family or that you have a separate chunk from your salary dedicated to them, should not come as a surprise for your partner after marriage.
8. What is your and their definition of ‘loyalty’ and cheating?
It may sound silly, but loyalty and commitment could mean different things to different people. Wouldn’t hurt to be on the same page about the same.
9. What are you, and their sex preferences?
This is an obvious one. You must know your partner’s sexual preferences and tell them yours, before entering the marriage.
10. What would happen in case of a tragedy?
Sounds grim and it probably is, but it will be best to discuss this because life can throw curve balls at any moment. This covers insurance, will and things like that.
These are just conversation starters, obviously, there is a lot more that can be discussed and should be.