We all have been conditioned to believe that everything will be sorted once we become an adult, especially when we will hit our 30s. While for the world we are ‘settled’ and there are many things that indeed make our 30s great, there are several other things we are still insecure about.
Here are a few women of Reddit sharing their insecurities in their 30s.
1. “My body and the fact that I’m single.”
2. “I am 27 and I feel like that WITH a partner and with a family. I moved from the middle east when I was 14 and struggled through an identity crisis for about 5 years. I have been with someone for 8 years and my parents don’t accept him and don’t even plan on meeting him even though we’re engaged. I feel like I live 3 different lives sometimes. Memories from my country hurt and make me wonder what if I never moved, would I have been happier emotionally? I feel guilt towards neglecting my roots and my extended family. But, I couldn’t survive trying to do both; American and Middle Eastern. After 7 years in the veterinary field, I am questioning if that’s what I want to do. Everything feels like a waste. My mom asked me 2 days ago if I would’ve been a human doctor by now if I went to med school as my parents wanted after high school. I don’t know. It’s like I have options but with so much fucking fine print. Maybe you see your life as an empty page, but at least there are no rules or guilt, or fear with anything you plan on doing. I hope this makes you feel better. I feel lonely and alone sometimes.”
3. “I don’t have a career, I work in food service and generally feel like my lack of college education makes me worthless in my relationship in the long run.”
4. “I’ll be 31 in December, and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. I’m severely inexperienced.”
5. “My body mostly. I’m STILL dealing with this shit, thought I’d be more confident about it by now.”
6. “My age. I’m terrified of the physical changes menopause will bring when it hits. I’m terrified of losing my mobility or of health concerns with older age – my family has a history of strokes and after seeing how my dad’s stroke ruined his life (he committed suicide as a result) the thought of that happening to me leaves me paralysed with fear, particularly as I live alone. I’m terrified of the way I’ve been told society treats middle-aged women. Of course, according to the charming gentlemen of Reddit I’ve already hit “the wall” they love to talk about but I’ve heard women here on Reddit say that for them they noticed people (not just men) started treating them differently around 40. That scares me. I can take men not wanting to fuck me, that’s fine, but being genuinely thought of as a lesser human than younger women, even by other women? The idea of that genuinely makes me want to just give up and die. I’m just scared of all of it and as I don’t have any older women in my life (my mother and grandmothers are all dead) I don’t have anyone to talk to about whether this is all overblown or a valid fear.”
7. “Relationships: Family, friends, romantic. All of it. It’s odd because I am finally secure in who I am as a person for the most part but now I worry that these established relationships won’t accept me for who I am anymore.”
8. “My weight, my status in life, my savings, my direction for my future, my mental health, my physical health.”
9. “The limitations caused by my mental illness. I have panic disorder with agoraphobia, so I’m only able to work a calm, low-pressure job: which also tends to be low-paying. I also don’t drive because it’s unsafe if I have a panic attack in traffic. It’s only after years of exposure therapy that I’m able to be independent at all. The guy I like now doesn’t care about my income or lack of car, but if things don’t work out with him, I worry no one else will want a 30-something who only earns 20k a year and can’t drive.”
10. “My social interactions. I’m extroverted and generally can make a good impression, but with increased isolation – I feel awkward in any social setting. Even with my long time friends I feel nervous and awkward. I like myself lol but I’m def out of practice. That and my thighs… but I’ve always been insecure about my thighs.”
11. “My adult acne that just won’t go away, especially with face masks giving me ‘mascne’ breakouts constantly. My body, which is now out of shape since covid shut down my boxing gym and then I took a remote job right when the gyms opened back up and so I went from working out frequently and being quite toned and muscular to being… not that anymore. On a non-physical level, I’m insecure about not having travelled while I was in my twenties. I decided to travel the world right before the pandemic hit and promptly ruined that plan. Basically, I feel like I was on the right track right before covid hit and I feel like I just lost all my progress during the pandemic.”
12. “My financial status and my career. I’m not making enough, don’t have skills, and don’t have the energy or intelligence to find a better job.”
13. “My gender identity issues. The difficulty of maintaining friendships. My mediocre artistic skills. Wanting to go back to school but also remembering how much I hated university.”
14. “Everything, always, but the one I freak out about the most is my friendships. I am constantly worried that if I say or do the wrong thing my friends will just vanish from my life.”
15. “My baby weight. My face, skin and teeth.”
16. “Finances. I finally made it to the salary I thought would mean I’ve finally “made it.” Not anything crazy but it’s what my parents made together and gave us a good life. I know, 30 years, inflation, yada yada yada. It’s just discouraging to be here and I still can’t afford to get a house and I’m about to get priced out of apartment buying.”
17. “I’m insecure about not having a “regular” job. Work isn’t my life. Yes, I work random jobs and support myself but I hate the idea (also gives me anxiety) to work 9-5 set days . All anyone cares about around me is how much money they have and what great things they own. It makes me feel insecure and like a failure even though this is the happiest I’ve been ever in my life.”
18. “Being an adult. I have no idea what I’m doing, no training, no nothing. Stop expecting that I know what to do.”
Dear ladies, it’s okay to be insecure about things regardless of your age. Embrace it!