Crushing over a person is great, until it’s time to go on that first date, that is. Because that’s the moment of truth folks, that’s when you find out whether or not the sparks you felt over text really exist. Or if the person you’re interested in is even safe for you to continue spending time with!

Which is why this Reddit thread of women revealing first date ideas that are absolute red flags is so great. Because, spill the tea, we want to know what to look out for as well. 

1. His house.

– pasame_sus_testes

2. Yep. Went on a date once with a guy who first took me out and asked me right after to go back to his place. I said no, then the second time he asked me out, he immediately jumped to going to his house and I said no. Maybe that’s the norm after a date, but I didn’t feel comfortable being alone with a stranger at their place after only spending an hour or two with them. No regrets!

– meekie03

3. Hiking. Cute in theory but not with a stranger.


4. Secluded places, their place or them bringing their friends or family to the date.

– sdlm15

5. Driving to the middle of nowhere to an abandoned quarry to shoot guns. And yet…. That’s exactly what we did on my first date with a 20-year-old dude when I was 16. The 80s were fucking wild.

– drunkenknitter

6. Swimming. We’ve all seen the fucking meme my dude and if you think makeup is a ‘trick,’ I’m better off without you.

– cabernetsauvigngoth

7. Surprises. Surprises are fine in an established relationship, but a new person doesn’t know me well enough to pick a welcome surprise for the first date.

– VanthGuide

8. Go on a car ride together. No thanks.

– wixkedwitxh

9. Going to a private place instead of a public one. Always go on a first date in public, like get a coffee/drink together or a lunch. Maybe go to the park (where other people are). If they suck or the date doesn’t feel right, then you can bail out easily. If they insist on going to a private place like their house, instead of a public place, then you have a huge red flag and need to bail out.

– EvilAlicia

10. Anywhere (overly) expensive. With every guy who has invited me to a place like that, it’s not been hard to read between the lines that they are expecting me to feel obligated to sleep with them. Anywhere remote as well, huge red flag to me that they talk about wanting to take me to their cabin. Especially when it’s used as a weird flex and they tell me where it is and that it’s expensive.

– Shyroxya

11. Going to another city (e.g. in Toronto, sometimes men will want to take you to Niagara Falls on a first date).

– RevolutionaryNinja24

12. Wanting to meet for anything late at night is the biggest red flag IMO.

– lemonpeachhh

Basically, don’t ever go anywhere isolated for the first date.