Hello and welcome to my rant of how much I miss getting my periods. If I turn the number of times I get my periods in a year into a drinking game, I'd be drinking the same glass for a very long time, all thanks to my PCOS. 

I mean, it's a love-hate relationship with my almost non-existent periods. Mainly because of my condition, I don't get to hate on my periods like other women do. 

Every month, I hear my gal-pals expressing how periods should just have been a notification or a text from Mother nature saying that you're not pregnant. I hear them cursing periods like a fuckboi who just ghosted them but in reality, it was me who was ghosted. 

Meanwhile, I want to chip into it and add my bit but it almost feels like I don't even remember them anymore. Did I ever get backaches? Did I get a period pimple right before I got my periods? Umm, I still don't know. 

My friends say that I am 'lucky' but who's lucky when they have to go to the gynecologist's, just to get prescribed birth control pills and get body shamed? I mean, all this doesn't affect me anymore but it'd be helpful if I could just let out some of the frustration by hating on periods. 

Sure, birth control pills help but they come with their own set of problems such as excessive cramps, sore breasts, etc. at least for me. So in a way, pills wale periods are more like janpat ka maal, you get it but with side effects.

I take recluse in the fact that I am not the only one going through something like this. It's said that 1 in 5 women go through PCOS, and that's just in India. In the world, 6% to 10% of women are affected by PCOS. 

Keeping aside the irregular periods, weight gain, and mood swings, what hurts the most is that all the ghosts of my brand new menstrual cups, reusable pads, cramp roller haunt me day and night as I pass them by.

I'd like to think that just like Karan Arjun, mere periods ayenge and when they do, I will be equipped unlike our government during this pandemic. 

I hate that I can't always join in on the period-bitching sessions with my friends, and hate it, even more, when they think I am 'lucky'. But, what I love is that after years of hating my body for not adhering to the 'norm', I have finally accepted it the way it is - periods or no periods. 

I have realized that I don't have to be guilted into having a baby just because my PCOS is taking away my 'child-bearing years.' It's me and only me who can make a decision for my body.  

So to sum it up, there are times when my love-hate relationship turns into a hate-hate relationship but then I remember Lady Gaga said 'you're born this way' so I hate my periods just a little less. 

And, lastly, no matter what anyone says, my PCOS and periods are still a better love story than Twilight. *mic drop*