Disclaimer: The views expressed are of the writer and not of ScoopWhoop.
I love my parents. They are fun to hang out with when my existence does not make them want to give me a 2-hour long lecture on my life choices.
That being said, I feel like I am losing out on my prime years as they puppet maser every moment of my life. And this feeling eats me from within.
The realisation hit me when I was in school and had formed a chill gang. Everyone wanted to hang out after school hours. But I had to reach home within half an hour after the school ended, a minute late and my parents would freak out as a practice.
But these occasions were not very frequent.
I imagined my parents would get chill once I joined college. But, lol.
The situation basically intensified in college days. Hangouts were frequent, gangs were bigger (hence more birthdays) and there were fests and days spent preparing for them. A large chunk of which I missed out or spent worrying that I have to reach home on time.
If I am out a minute past my curfew, my phone basically blows up. If only I had a coin every time my parents asked me 'where are you', I would have bought myself a place and moved out.
Asking for permission means a riot at home. And desi households are known for their passivity. So how do you passively riot? We just stop talking to each other, even quit eating, and randomly bring up issues in unrelated situations.
This age of social-media does not help the case either. You not only have to sit at home but also watch your friends post stories of seemingly happening parties.
Trips are 'allowed' only once per year. If there's a party, you can't stay out late, which means missing out on the interesting bit. The bit where the TEA is.
If you are a girl, the situation is worse. Because desi parents still go chill on boys after they reach a certain age. You can't blame them for this though. Women have to put up with a lot of crap when they step out.
But it would be a lot better if I am out at night and instead of constantly fussing about how to deal with my parents, I could just BE. Like if something bad happens, I will be more worried ki parents kya bolenge instead of reaching out to them for help.
The deal with desi parents is no matter how much you grow up, your say in your own life will always be outweighed by your parents' opinion. Moving out is not really an option after college if you end up working in the same city.
Having strict parents impacts every aspect of your life. You miss out on opportunities because socialising ke liye ghar se nikalna padhta hai. Your dating life takes a hit. Like forget the 3-day rule, because of my strict parents, honey, I won't call you to make another plan for at least 2 weeks.
Impromptu plans are like an unchieavable dream. It takes me 4-6 working days to get a plan approved by my parents. And still, there is a chance that they will change their mind at the end moment.
After a point of time, you end up cancelling your own plans because you just don't have the energy to put up a fight with them every time.
People might say 'why don't you just move out', then let me tell you A) we're not Crazy Rich Asians B) I actually do LIKE living with them.
However, I can't shed this feeling that I am wasting away the prime years of my life. I want to go out at 12 at night for a walk in the rain, wear whatever the hell I want, hangout with boys at my own place and not feel like I have to fight the Battle of Winterfell every time I do so.
currently losing out on my teenage years bc of my strict parents...yet , when i’m around them too much they start talking about “don’t you have friends to hang out with or something ?” LIKE NO . NO , they all got fucking annoyed bc i wasn’t allowed out , FYMMMMM ? 😤😤— angelina ✞ (@theymissbee) July 21, 2019
trying to make plans when ur the the friend with strict parents is tHE MOST ANNOYING SHIT EVER CUZ YO FRIENDS TRYNA SPEND ALL DAY OUT IN A CITY 50 MILES AWAY AND I GET YELLED AT WHEN MY ASS IS TWO BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE— saleemah (@saleemxh) July 21, 2019
Growing up to see your parents being less and less strict with your siblings is a different kind of betrayal https://t.co/rFqZn9nCsf— Sanzi (@Sanzidaaax) July 20, 2019
Living with strict parents is a bitter-sweet experience, minus the sweetness.