Living in a patriarchal society often translates to seeing women being stripped of their agency. And one of the most common examples of this is forcing married women to have children. Unfortunately, it’s commonplace to hear stories of MILs pushing their daughters-in-law in to taking on more household chores or having children. And we seem to have come across a Reddit post by a woman who dealt with exactly this.
In the post, Reddit user u/Artistic_Guidance614 talks about how she faced continuous pressure by her mother-in-law to have children. And how one fine day, she ended up losing control and shutting down her snarky remarks quite aggressively.
And though she’s gone ahead and asked whether it was wrong of her to respond so rudely, there were many people who sided with her and felt that her response was justified.
NGL, I personally think that she had to put her foot down some day, plus her MIL was clearly not respecting her choice!
NTA (not the a**hole). That was long overdue and if your husband had handled his mom sooner and not let it go on for so long it all could’ve been avoided.
My MIL is very Christian and we left the church in our late 20s. His mother cornered me about “going back to church” once and I told my husband, “Next time she asks, I’m telling her the truth and it won’t be polite. If that’s not what you want, you handle it.” He now handles all the awkward conversations because he knows if she asks me, I won’t lie for him.
I like you! I tried to deflect her questions or outright ignore her, but she was relentless. I would tell him (my husband) and his response would always be that he had not heard it. Did not help that she would stay with us for a week, every three months, and he would not take any time off. She had all day to drive me insane. It ended up with me asking for a divorce and her doing one more thing made me go all Krakatoa. I then got my distance from her and he eventually learned not to push me about seeing her.
I think it’s why so many people think they may be the assholes when it’s really they have been driven to their breaking point. In scenarios like this, that the OP shared, they never see the tiny cuts, they only see the extreme reaction of a club to the face, so it’s easy for them to assume the worst about the OP. I think this type of thing is what causes a lot of hurt feelings and misunderstandings because the witnesses have not been there to witness everything.
She was counting on you to never say anything to challenge her. Well, color her surprised. NTA.
You poke the bear enough times, it’ll eventually poke back. Or poke the kitty or the puppy. Any living being can only take so much, there is a breaking point, and OP reached it.
Yep. Her husband let her get chewed up for ages. He wouldn’t lift a finger to defend her, so she defended herself.
Tactful? No. AH? No, NTA. You and your SO made it clear you don’t want kids and she keeps bringing it up because she has no respect for you or your decision. Now she’ll think twice before mentioning it or be verbally knocked on her dairy air again.
The OPs husband needs to find his baby making balls and shut MIL down. If he doesn’t, he can’t complain about the OP doing it.
Let’s be very honest, no one has the right to comment on anyone’s decision to have children. It’s a very personal choice, it has to do with one’s body and boundaries after all!