There’s no doubt that having a good support system is quite important for women. However, it can’t be rosy all the time. There aren’t just red flags to look for in romantic relationships, there are potential red flags to look for even in platonic friendships. Here are some people who revealed the subtle red flags they faced in their platonic friendships.

1. “Misogynistic language used to describe other female friends in the group. Usually aimed towards the way they dress, belittling their emotions, or saying that they cause ‘drama’. This also includes slut-shaming and fat-shaming.”

2. “Giving intentional bad advice to push to bad decisions, giving you intentionally the wrong information/facts is a strong component too. Lying to you about shared friends disliking you and talking ill about you. Getting angry if you talk/socialize with others without her. Asking you always for money and refusing to pay back. Getting angry if and when someone’s else helps you in any way, or someone gives you positive attention. Sabotaging all your personal relationships and professional ones Asking for your company/attention continuously.”

3. “I had a best friend who was constantly shit-talking her other friends to me, and somehow I doubted she was doing the same to me when talking to them. She was a long term friend of mine, but looking back I’m glad that our friendship ended – who has the energy to talk that much shit?”

4. “Taking (and posting) extremely unflattering photos of you.”

5. “Only reaching out when it benefits them.”

6. “Backhanded compliments. Subtle/not-so-subtle jealousy. Over-analyzing your life choices to try to make you build doubt and second-guess yourself.”

7. “Feeling bad about yourself after you hang out.”

8. “When they portray that they are the victim in every relationship (platonic and romantic) that has ended.”

9. “I had a friend who was great around me, but when we hung out with other girls or even boys her personality would totally switch up. She would act more “cool” and act like I was the weird friend. Big red flag, the friendship turned to shit a few years later when she used to be my best friend. Just can’t trust someone who acts one way around you and another around others.”

10. “Not being able to be joyous for positive things that happen to you. Talking of themselves as superior to you. Joking in a way that crosses your boundaries, whatever they are. Giving intentionally bad advice to push you to bad decisions. Lack of boundaries/a relationship that is close in an unhealthy way. Jealousy of other friends. Talking shit behind your back, encouraging you to talk shit about other people (especially shared friends). Depending on you for their self-esteem/making you feel responsible for them and their moods. Gaslighting and manipulation in every form. Not being able to acknowledge their mistakes and apologize in a sincere way when they do something wrong. Internalized misogynic beliefs.”

Now you know the potential red flags that you must not overlook in platonic friendships.