This is a very serious article. It’s about people who are not what they seem. No, they do not have any scientific logic behind their claims, but who needs science when you have power of “faith”? (I’m looking at you, “god men”)

For some reason, most of these claims were made when these people were apprehended by the police, or hounded by the media. I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. So, without further ado, here’s a list of people who have claimed to be monsters and aliens.

1. Stephanie Pistey – Blamed her part-vampire, part-werewolf nature when charged with accessory to murder

Before she was arrested in 2011 for being an “accessory to murder”, 18-year old Stephanie Pistey, from Panama City, Florida, listed “unwordly things” and “blood” as her interests on Facebook. She says – ” Since I was like 12, every fiber in my body, basically everything, I know this is going to be crazy, but I believe that I’m a vampire and part werewolf. ” She was found guilty of being an accessory to the murder of a 16-year-old boy named Jacob Hendershot. Investigators suspect that her involvement in the boy’s death stemmed from the vampire cult that she belonged to.

And here’s the same “vampire/werewolf” taking a selfie.

2. Omnec Onec – Says she’s an ambassador alien from Venus

Omnec Onec claims to be from Venus. She “landed” on the deserts of Nevada in 1955. Then she moved to Tennessee where she took the place of 7-year old Sheila who had just died in a bus accident.

In Venusian time, she’s apparently hundreds of years old. And she spends most of her Earth time writing books about the beauty, philosophy and religion in Venus.

She must’ve gone attended the same school as Master Yoda. Sheds more light on that her book cover does.

3. Thomas Stroup – Goes on a crazy rampage every full moon night

In 2011, cops in Ohio were called to rein in a man who was attacking campers and animals. That man was Thomas Stroup, who when apprehended, cried his heart out claiming he had been bitten by a wolf once and that turned him into a werewolf every full moon night. Which, in his case, means werewolves gone wild.

4. Jonathan Sharkey – Vampire/Politician. Drinks girlfriend’s blood.

America has had some pretty hilarious presidential candidates. (No, this time I don’t mean Bush) Ex-professional wrestler and self-proclaimed vampire, Jonathan “The Impaler” Sharkey, is one example. His obsession with blood started as a child when he found a packet of blood in his uncle fridge. He drank it and there was no looking back since. Apparently he drinks the blood of his girlfriend and clearly his defence against the sun is a pair of glasses.

5. Josephine Rebecca Smith – Vampire. Likes to bite faces of old men.

One evening, just before midnight in front of a Hooters restaurant in Florida, wheelchair bound Milton Ellis, age 69, awoke to find 22-year-old Josephine Rebecca Smith on top of him with blood lust on her mind. Smith told the elderly man that she was a vampire and began to bite him on the face and the neck, tearing off pieces of Ellis’ face and lip. Covered in blood, Ellis managed to get away and call the authorities. When police arrived they found the self-proclaimed vampire, Smith, half naked and covered in blood. Before she was arrested, Smith claimed to have no memory of the attack.

Still a better love story than Twilight, methinks.

6. Cynthia Crawford – 2/3rd Alien, 1/3rd human. Result of scientific experiments.

Crawford claims she is the result of her mom being artificially impregnated by alien DNA as part of some secret government programme. And this, apparently makes her only 34% human and the rest is alien. (#AlienMath)

She believes her calling in life is to educate Earthlings about alien life, which is why she moulds alien sculptures and sells them. Her book ” Lessons From the Galactic Family and the Masters ” is soon to be released.

*hushed tone* Doesn’t she remind you of Betaal from Vikram-Betaal ?

7. Wolfie Blackheart – Teenager who leads a werewolf gang

Not sure if werewolf or emo fashion gone too far. Either way, it’s a little unsettling. San Antonio, Texas teenager Sara Rodriguez believes that she is part wolf. Under the nickname Wolfie Blackheart, she acts as leader of a werewolf den called the Crimson Blood Wolf Pack. The pack is one of several in the Texas town in which members have taken to wearing canine fangs, contact lenses resembling wolf eyes, and animal tails attached to their jackets. They submit to Wolfie as their alpha dog and den mother.

8. Jujuolui Kuita – Author and part-human, part-reptile shapeshifter.

Author Jujuolui Kuita, age 41, is very active in the “Starseed” community, a group that has bonded together over common experiences with aliens. Although Kuita was born in Concord, California, she claims to be a reptilian shapeshifter with part human/ part alien DNA. She says, “My planet is Faqui in the Andromeda galaxy. Since birth I’ve known I was from another place. I felt isolated and different, that this wasn’t my home. I am half reptilian and can shape-shift into another species called Fajan.”

According to her, the shapeshifting happens beyond the sight frequency of humans, whatever that is.

9. Lyle Monroe Bensley – A 500-year old vampire

19-year old Lyle Monroe Bensley from Texas broke into the home of a woman and bit her while she was sleeping. As she ran out and called the cops, she heard growling and hissing sounds coming from her room. The cops went in there and nabbed Bensley, who was found in his boxers. He claimed he was a 500-year old vampire who “needed to be fed”.

10. Andrew Whiteman – 100-year old vampire who threatened to eat a jailer’s kidney

In 2010, Whiteman was caught trying to break into a drugstore in Ohio. When the cops restrained him in the backseat of their car, he claimed he was a 100-year old vampire who would live eternally, could smell the blood of the cops and then he went on to threaten one of the cops and his children.

In the morning, he apologized.

We are lucky to have such amazing beings living among us. If we get over our obsession with god men and miracle makers, maybe we can give these people a chance.

H/T Oddee .