There’s the cards you gave to friends and relatives as kids, and then there’s the Satanic greetings from hell that you’ll see below. Hallmark cards are pretty damn passe, so people everywhere have been getting creative with their holiday well wishes. As you can probably tell though, it isn’t exactly as vanilla as you’d hope.

Check it!

1. Nope! Nothing creepy here!

Reddit

2. Ahh, the perfect Christmas.

Reddit

3. Clowns. Nuff said.

Ebaumsworld

4. Pika-HOLY FUCK WHAT ARE YOU!?

Smosh

5. When the folks start drinking.

Huffingtonpost

6. That’s a wiener! 

Ebaumsworld

7. Jigsaw’s got competition.

Ebaumsworld

8. Dark comedy? What’s that?

Imfunny

9. Aww, it’s a crack baby!

Theoatmeal

10. “Is Papa Pumpkin gonna be okay?”

“Of course not Timmy, they cut his goddamn eye off!” 

Historybuff

11. Mmm, the taste of love.

Ritemail

12. Finders keepers, dead frogs weepers.

Sobadsogood

13. I got nothing.

Silothompson

14. Damn furries everywhere!

Bucultureshock

15. I’m watching you… with love.

Sadanduseless

16. Toad – “I used to be a prince you know.”

Sobadsogood

17. Season’s greeting!

– Satan

Sobadsogood

18. Who needs sleep anyway?!

Ebaumsworld

19. Stick to your roots.

Ebaumsworld

20. So bad it hurts!

Ebaumsworld

21. Aww widdle pinky.

Sadanduseless

This is actually normal in Japan – True story.