The epic love saga Kalank released today and except for the plotline, everything was grand in the movie. 

Obviously, spoilers ahead. Like you really care. 

Starring Alia Bhatt and Varun Dhawan in lead roles as Roop and Zafar, the movie is a love triangle that questions familial obligations, society's perception of morals, religious enmity, and logic. 

Source: HT

However, for those of you who have no desire to sit through a 2 hour 50 minutes long retelling of every love story ever, but still want to know what exactly was the cause of kalank, look no further. 

The movie is set during the pre-partition era in Husnabad, Lahore. Here's a town that has a lake in the middle of it and mountains on its outskirts. 

Source: BollywoodLife

Zafar is a blacksmith, plagued by his illegitimate birth, and an incorrigible flirt. All this translates to so many shirtless shots, you'd think the movie was out of costume budget. Or maybe they just used all that budget to buy bottles of oil for Varun Dhawan to lay in. 

Roop is a young girl from Rajasthan, who marries newspaper owner Dev Chaudhary (Aditya Roy Kapoor) out of 'duty' and at the behest of his sick and dying first wife Satya (Sonakshi Sinha). 

Source: MensXp

Roop and Dev have a marriage of convenience. And they let that know by several 'important' dialogues, repeated as many times as there are songs in the movies. 

In fact, there are more songs than Sonakshi Sinha's scenes in the movie. Not kidding! 

Anyway, once we buy into the how and why of Roop searching for love outside a loveless marriage - something that is explained so many times, you'd think it was Inception's plotline - we are introduced to Zafar's daredevil attitude. Through a bullfight. 

Source: NDTV

The makers put a disclaimer that no animals were harmed during the bullfight scene because it was created via CGI. But where was the disclaimer about the CGI effect being harmed?

*Dharma was the production house for Bahubali's sequel. Just putting it out there.*

With the multiple songs, the fancy fights, Roop and Zafar's budding romance, and unnecessarily long and convoluted dialogues, the premise of the movie is established. 

What follows is a looooongggg journey to reach to a climax we've grown up watching in every 90s movie ever. 

So, the big takeway from the movie is that an extramarital affair is not necessarily a taint if it's done for love. And yeah, a chance to bookmark the ideal wedding jewellery for every occasion. 

The movie has its moments, like a melodious title track, decent performances by most of the actors, and some beautiful shots. 

Source: Vogue

Sadly though, we could have done away with all this, if only the movie had a little more soul, a little less predictability, and for the love of God, a shorter run time.