Imtiaz Ali is one of the most celebrated filmmaker of 21st century Bollywood. His characters and stories are lauded for their nuanced exploration of mental health and the human brain.

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However, he has his fair share of critics. The feminist critique of Imitiaz Ali’s movies states that his female protagonists do not have an identity beyond aiding their male counterpart. Similarly, his male characters are often deemed insufferable if they were real people.

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Hence, we imagined dating his male protagonists and why that would be…terrible.

1. Veer- Love Aaj Kal (2020)

Veer is a socially awkward and inarticulate person. He lacks the ability to express his emotions in a healthy manner. Towards Zoe, he is extremely territorial and making her own choices. In the movie, his traits apparently make him extremely endearing. However, dating an emotionally immature person is probably an extremely draining ordeal.

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2. Aditya- Jab We Met

Only a fictional character like Geet could tolerate the first meeting between her and Aditya Kashyap. No first interaction like theirs, in real life, would lead to a fruitful relationship. Despite his arc later on, he is initially rude, condescending and disrespectful towards Geet. He ignores her and is dismissive of her interests due to his headspace.

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It only works in the film because Geet ko aaj kal kisi baat ka bura nahi lagta.

3. Jai- Love Aaj Kal (2009)

Jai Vardhan Singh is terrible at commitment and lacks emotional awareness towards himself. He is career-driven but lacks the maturity of being realistic. He does not respect women or remain loyal and simply sees himself as “a ladies’ man”.

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In real life, there are far too many men who behave and act like Jai…without even looking like Saif Ali Khan.

4. Jordan- Rockstar

Jordan is a talented musician who has anger issues and romanticizes pain. He does not respect Heer’s consent and shames her for her choices. Other than that, he lets his success get to his head and becomes arrogant, violent lonely and bitter to everyone. He does not know how to control his emotions or respect people’s boundaries.

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The “bad boy” persona and looking like Ranbir Kapoor worked in the glamorization of Jordan. However, in real life, he would be a nightmare artist to manage and bigger nightmare to date. His moody, intense, brooding and prone to taking risks attitude would be exhausting.

5. Mahabir- Highway

Mahabir Bhati falls in love with Veera Tripathi after…kidnapping her.

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He must be caring and gentle towards Veera but he’d be a terrible boyfriend because he is a kidnapper. No Stockholm Syndrome for us, thanks.

6. Ved- Tamasha

Ved is the worst offender of feminist critique. He is disconnected from his reality and emotions, expecting Tara to take care of him throughout. Ved does not feel any shame in disrespecting and yelling at her, blaming her for his issues. Constantly, he makes inappropriate jokes towards women and lies.

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In real life, Ved would be a terrible boyfriend who would expect you to be his unpaid therapist and do all the emotional labour in the relationship. You would be expected to “fix” him and be with him despite the way he treats you. Ved, in real life, almost borders on a toxic and abusive partner.

7. Gautam Kapoor- Cocktail

Over the years, netizens have developed a serious distaste for Gautam Kapoor. He is a womanizer and is disrespectful to every woman whom he sees as sex objects. He fools around with Veronica but does not consider her ‘marriage material’.

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Gautam is nonchalant and callous towards Veronica. He is the kind of guy who would make you feel like you don’t deserve a meeting with his mother despite being sexually involved with you.

8. Harinder ‘Harry’- Jab Harry Met Sejal

Harinder “Harry” Singh Nehra describes himself as a “cheap womaniser”. He is a lonely flirt who is selfish and only cares about saving his job without doing anything to do that. Harry also expects Sejal to “fix” him and take care of his emotional unavailability and family issues.

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Why would you date that man if he did not look like Shah Rukh Khan?

Imtiaz Ali’s men are great only on-screen! No, thanks!