Even though openly communicating about things is an essential part of relationships, we all filter down a lot of things before talking to our partners. It’s because we don’t want to be rude to our partners or are just trying to find a better way to communicate.
While it’s a process, and we learn to communicate better with time, there are things we shouldn’t hesitate to talk about. People on Reddit have shared things they could tell their partners without upsetting them, and they are as real as they get.
1. “I wish you were attracted to me. Or if you are, that you’d say so. You’re so good to me, and I know you love me at least as much as I love you. But I feel like you settled, and I’ve sunk into terrible depression because I’ll never look like your ideal.”
2. “Your drinking is clearly affecting your health. You look older than you should. You’ve got that tight bloated stomach and large liver look. How can you ignore the signs? This isn’t body shaming, I’m attracted to you, I’m just afraid you’re going to have a heart attack and leave me alone.”
3.” Sometimes I just wanna be alone with my friends or do something alone and I don’t want you always pouting over it. Couples don’t need to spend every second of every day together.”
4.”The universe is not out to get you. Not everything is happening to you, some of it is in your control. I’m so sick of you refusing to take ownership. And stop getting so fucking defensive about everything!”
5.” That I don’t want to have another child b/c they didn’t help nearly enough and our arguments got so bad I questioned our relationship. I was sinking into a major depression that I can’t imagine being happy having another. Pregnancy was hell and postpartum was difficult b/c of all the unnecessary stress.”
6. “The lack of sexual interest is killing me. I know she has a lower libido than I do, but I can’t even talk to her about sex, fantasies, or anything without her completely shutting down and avoiding the topic, or getting angry.”
7. “That her clutter gives me extreme anxiety. Her father was a hoarder and she’s much better than he was, but it’s still really overwhelming. I brought it up once and it did not go well. So I just stay silent and hide in the one room of the house that isn’t tainted by piles of random junk.”
8. “He needs to set better boundaries with his family (of origin) or their problems and craziness will swallow his life and mine with it.”
9. “I’m tired of being responsible for managing everyone’s schedule in the family. If I don’t play Event Coordinator, people don’t get where they need to be.”
10. “I understand that you’re sensitive and try very hard to be gentle, but the way you cry and storm off every single time I raise an issue is so wearing. It prevents us from being able to have an adult discussion and ends up with me apologising and coddling you, especially when you were in the wrong.”
11. “That it breaks my heart whenever he gets anxious to ask for time alone/things in general because he’s had past experiences of people getting angry and emotionally abusive to him. I wish I could take that anxiety away.”
12. “That her 23-year-old daughter needs to learn how to make a decision on her own. Solving every single problem your kids have doesn’t help them, especially at 23.”
13. “Take better goddamn care of yourself, I shouldn’t have to convince you to do it. Sometimes the easy solution is the right one dude. You’re allowed to take pain meds if you’re in pain, you’re allowed to complain about being dealt a shitty hand, and you’re allowed to be mad at people! Set stronger boundaries and be better to yourself.”
14. “You starve me of special occasions and won’t celebrate with me. It makes me dread days that are supposed to be fun and happy, and instead, I feel resentful, sad, and embarrassed about your lack of effort. You’ve missed so many chances to make me feel loved.”