Among the many perks of being in a relationship, openly communicating about things is the best one. But the idea that you have to share what you are thinking, feeling, and hoping for is a little ambiguous. There are thoughts or rather secrets you might be uncomfortable sharing with your partner. Or things that don’t contribute to your relationship in a positive way.
Well, sometimes it’s better to have some private thoughts to ourselves – not everything needs to be said out loud. We have tried to list down things you may want to avoid sharing with your partner to maintain a harmonious relationship.
1. “Throwing their trauma in their face (especially as a flaw) during a fight. You are meant to make them feel safe. Don’t take that away from them.”
2. “I’d say criticizing physical attributes they cannot change such as height, dick size, bald/losing hair, etc. None of these things are within their control and it’s cruel to point it out. Men are VERY aware as it is, we need to be kinder to each other.”
3. “Explicit details of your previous sex life with exes or their secrets. I don’t wanna hear about how someone blew his dick or whatever. I know he had sex before but I don’t wanna hear about it. I’m happy to hear about preferences etc or how we can do things differently.”
4. “I don’t tell very much to any partner about past relationships, their income levels, or occupations because I don’t want any comparisons or jealousy. I had past partners with high income and status jobs so to avoid problems I just keep it to myself.”
5. “Anything along the lines of normally I would have gone for people with insert specific characteristics you like but your SO doesn’t have.”
6. “I’d sum it up as: never tell them anything that’s hurtful, but can have no solution. I think it’s okay to share anything that may hurt if it’s for the purpose of explaining a change you want, and they have an opportunity to rectify it. But if you’re just saying something harmful because you want them to know it and be hurt by it, then that’s wrong.”
7. “How to look, act, think, or behave. Respecting your partner’s individual autonomy/personal expression is the key to a healthy relationship. If something they do bothers you, tell them how it made you feel instead of making a moral judgment about their behaviour.”
8 “If you’ve had a sex dream about someone you/you both know. I can’t help what I dream but it’s definitely not reflective of conscious feelings!”
9. “My boyfriend told me at a very vulnerable time that he preferred hanging out with a female coworker of his as it was easier and less stressful. To this day I still can’t get that out of my head even though he says it’s not the case ‘anymore’. It doesn’t help that they’re still too close for my liking.”
10.”Belittle them in any way or form. Of course, it goes both ways. It’s important to be kind to each other, even when you were arguing or they did something stupid.”
11. “I heard both my parents criticize, and belittle each other’s appearance/achievements. Even if I am jealous of something I won’t resort to cutting down my spouse to feel better.”
12. “It’s important, to be honest, but at the same time it is okay to have your privacy. Certain things are better left unsaid, and it’s pretty obvious what those things usually are.”