There are so many things you wish you could have said to your girlfriend. You try to say them, and then stop yourself just short. It might be a little harsh for them. Thank God for your pet dog and that he can't speak - you can vent it out to him and he/she won't judge you, one bit. Here are 15 things you can tell your dog, not your girlfriend:

1 "What did you just do? What did you just do?"

2. "Come here."

3. "Want a bone?"

4. "Grab the ball...grab the ball..."

5. "Get off the mail man...get off right now..."

6. "Hey buddy, let's get rid of the fleas!"

7. "Go bite him in the butt."

8. "Make it quick, I'm in a hurry."

9. "Who's a good boy!"

10. "Hey fatty, eat less from tomorrow..."

11. "I don't want drool all over the house."

12. "Only I poop here, you poop outside."

13. "Stop sniffing/licking yourself."

14. "Do you want me to rub your belly?"

15. "Stop eating trash, you furry creature!"

16. "Sit. Stand. Turn. Kneel. Sit..."

17. "I don't want to see you fighting with the other bitches in the neighborhood."

18. "Oh stop humping my leg!"