It was great while it lasted, but it’s all over. Now that the pyaar ka purdah is off my eyes, I see the relationship for what it really was. While I have no regrets for being in that relationship, I sure as hell am not going back in there. Here is a long list of things I’d gladly do, rather than my ex (pun intended!):
1. Attend every single lecture ever held in college
2. Get a postpaid mobile connection
3. Tell my mom about the paper that I failed in
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_1.gif)
4. Swipe right for every random creep on Tinder
5. Listen to Justin Beiber songs on loop all day long
6. Rewatch Gunda all by myself
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_2.gif)
7. Accept that my best friend is smarter than me
8. Tell my boss he is dumber than me
9. Watch The Newshour on full volume every night
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_3.gif)
10. Defend a political leader on a social media platform
11. Do shots of raw karela juice
12. Mug up the lyrics to Yo Yo Honey Singh’s raps
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_4.gif)
13. Relive the sex talk I got from my dad
14. Fake my own death
15. Tag KRK in a tweet
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_5.gif)
16. Copy check Chetan Bhagat’s next manuscript
17. Pick fights with a guy twice my size
18. Interview Rakhi Sawant for one whole hour
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_6.gif)
19. Have deep, meaningful conversations with an Internet troll
20. Voluntarily spend time stuck in traffic
21. Try to make a lead bullet out of Maggi
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_7.gif)
22. Give up bargaining
23. Give one math test every day for the rest of my life
24. Write an episode by episode summary of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_8.gif)
25. Never taste another drop of ketchup again
26. Wear a bikini to my next job interview
27. Use sewage water as perfume
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_10.gif)
28. Get a haircut that closely resembles Salman Khan from Tere Naam
29. Click a selfie with Shakti Kapoor
30. Be the “before” model in Asian Sky Shop’s new weight loss advertisement
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_11.gif)
31. Spam all my Facebook friends with CandyCrush requests
32. Participate in Splitsvilla
33. Direct and produce Deshdrohi
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_12.gif)
34. Make my parents watch Two Girls One Cup
35. Lose my phone
36. Confess to taking drugs to Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insaan
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_13.gif)
37. Conduct a social experiment in Rajiv Chowk
38. Organise a dance off between Mamata Banerjee and Baba Ramdev
39. Become a Himesh Reshammiya impersonator
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_14.gif)
40. Refuse an invitation to Shahid Kapoor’s marriage
41. Listen to a audio book of the Fifty Shades trilogy narrated by Simi Garewal
42. Translate Bruce Lee films into Bhojpuri
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_15.gif)
43. Sit for an indefinite hunger strike with corruption charges against Arvind Kejriwal with no proof whatsoever
44. Eat beef in Maharashtra
45. Romance Uday Chopra in his next movie
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_16.1.gif)
46. Back Sachin Tendulkar’s political career
47. Become Ram Gopal Verma’s PR manager
48. Provide back up vocals for Tahir Shah’s next song
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_17.1.gif)
49. Let Crime Master Gogo play goti with my eyes
50. Write fan mails to Deepak Tijori demanding for autographs every day
![](https://wp.scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/567736996e510a6f3a75c621_djfan.gif)
All GIFs taken from here, here and here unless otherwise stated.
Whatever I choose to do with my life, I’m certain my past won’t feature in it. Because I have some self respect, and I’d much rather make myself happy than go back begging to my ex. Neither of us deserve that.
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