So, I woke this morning to the news that Justin Bieber’s friend got bit in the chest by a shark. Now, if you manage to survive a shark attack, you automatically are pretty badass. At least in my books you are. Not too many people live to tell those stories. But what was making news instead? Justin Bieber sharing a nudie, with his butt for the whole world to gawk at. I mean sure, you can’t let a shark and your friend take all the attention away, can you, Master Bieber? Surely, there is a world where Justin Bieber’s butt, his scraggly toenails, his dirty laundry, everything is venerated. But who cares, really? Justin Bieber’s butt is probably like every human butt on the planet. Except Kardashian’s- that’s another league altogether. Anyway, I’m an animal lover, and I’d like to believe Justin is one too. So, hopefully he’ll appreciate this short, beautiful montage of animal butts, which pretty much sums up the impact his recent photo had on anyone above the age of 16 .

1) A Slightly Blurry Photo Of Rhinoceros Butts

2) A Very Expressive Baboon Butt

3) Cock Butts, Anyone?

4) Stark Naked Zebra Butts. It’s All Black And White Here.

5) Goat Butts, Without Which This List Would Be A Little ‘Meh’.

6) Corgi Butts. Because Corgis.

7) Elephant Seal Butt. Majestic As Fuck.

And if you were hoping to catch a glimpse of the young lad’s posterior here, HOW ABOUT NO, because: