Before we begin, please note that this account has not been verified. However, General Hameed Gul is real.
The Internet, and Twitter specifically, can be a beautiful place. And it can also be a festering pus-filled boiling pot of hate. And in one of our escapades, we found a Twitter account by the name of General Hameed Gul.
For the uninitiated (which until recently, included ourselves), General Hameed Gul is a retired officer of the Pakistan army, and former Director-General of the ISI.
Now that we've got that out of the way, let's get to the point of the article; his Twitter account.
Being the ISI Chief from the late 80s, we figured he's seen things some of us could only imagine.
Evidently, that's true.
Easy on the sheesha there, General.
Apparently, half of Asia and a bit of Europe owe their existence to Pakistan.
As does the soon-to-be-created Canadian Republic Of Really Far West Pakistan:
His take on history doesn't just stop at Cold War. He goes waaaaaaay back.
But our General isn't just a history buff. He is a man of many hats and has an opinion on almost everything.
And I've seen a lot of things, but I've never seen someone go to Canada to become a truck.
His Twitter feed is peppered with gems like this:
Kripiya apne nuclear missiles stand-by mode par lagayiye.
Although to be fair, he does have good taste in music.
Wait, what's this crap? He thanked everyone but John Mayer? What, is he not good enough for you?!
And like we mentioned before, he isn't verified, but that hasn't stopped him from gaining the attention of celebrities on our side of the border.
And whether this is the real General or not, we're sure he's not going to stop, because like his profile says: