Thanks to the JNU row, we all have an opinion on Leftists now. We may not personally know any, or not read any related literature, but the word Leftist evokes strong reactions still.

So we decided to break down the profile of a Leftist for you.

They invest in a wardrobe 

Close your eyes, think of the word Leftist and what do you see? An image of a man in a crumpled cotton kurta and a woman, in a similar crumpled kurta or a handloom saree. Accessories of choice – a jhola, a Nehru jacket. And yes, a beard for the man and grey streaks in the woman’s hair just ups the Leftist quotient.

Their profile have these three magic words

Liberal, secular and progressive. Which their opponents have translated to Adarsh liberals, libtards and sickulars. But frankly, this is what you’ll find in the profile of most of the Left-leaning ones.

Every problem in India is because of Sangh. Like Every. Single. Problem.

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Decades ago, India’s Marxists and Communists made bizarre claims that the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh is funded by America’s CIA and that it was inspired by Mussolini. Now, they compare it to ISIS. But that’s not all. They’ll tell you that this “fascist, communal, intolerant, bigoted RSS’ is responsible for every ill in India be it poverty, gender issues, terrorism, inflation and what not! 

Every single issue is an underdog versus top dog one

From a murder to a verbal spat, all crimes and conflict are inherently an underdog versus top dog one. And yes, the underdog is always, always the victim and the blame always, always lies with the one top dog – better-off, higher caste, higher income. And yes, they conveniently forget how they are, in their own words, free of all caste prejudices.

They will call themselves atheists

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Sometimes agnostic, sometimes atheistic. And when caught off-guard, say they are “spiritual but not religious”. Basically, do a spiritual somersault. 

They hate the super rich

They will be forever beating their chest and crying hoarse because there’s so much poverty around. But they’ll also hate the rich with a vengeance. While asking the government to provide free food, jobs, education and all that, they are forever wanting to take on the rich. So no talk on poverty is complete without an “Adani-Ambani” thrown in. 

They think Bandh is the most awesome way to protest

Not for nothing, the term ‘Bandh culture’ has become synonymous with Bengal where the Left has ruled the longest in India. On social media, call for a bandh is retweeted and endorsed by them as a very strong statement to the government that you don’ agree with a certain policy or to protest against a killing or simply condemn a bizarre statement by the most insignificant leader. 

They use very complex, daunting words for straight, simple terms

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Perhaps no one throws in words like “parochialism” and “reversalism” as commonly in their arguments as Leftists do. Their parlance sometimes even defies the dictionary.

‘But but but, what about 2002? 

They hate Modi, for he is a ‘butcher’, ‘autocrat,’ ‘Nazi,’ ‘Hiter’. And when every argument fails, they turn to 2002 riots. All riots are bad, but, according to them, some riots are worse than others.