You should be on snake-watch 24/7. Not just in forests, but snakes are all around you too. Many of the times they disguise themselves as human beings, quite possibly your own friends and family. Bestie, if you’re reading this, spare yourself the emotional damage. 

Here are 10 signs your friend is hella toxic and you need to dump them ASAP:

1. You’re giving more than you’re getting.

If you have a friend who always seems to need your help, but can’t reciprocate even the tiniest favour, well there you have it. They’re a walking, breathing red flag. It doesn’t even have to be about help and favours, any friend who continually monopolizes the conversation with their own life, and never lets you share details about yours is not worth it. The best judge for this imbalance is …you! If you feel drained in a friendship as if you’re giving, giving and giving with nothing in return, dump ’em.

2. A pattern of disrespect

Maybe your friend doesn’t respect the boundaries you’ve set for yourself and constantly invades your personal space, maybe they don’t respect your time and keep cancelling on you, maybe they don’t respect you enough as a person to return the things they’ve loaned from you. Don’t let yourself be taken for granted. Express your concerns to your friend. If they continue to be inconsiderate, they’re not worth being your friend.

3. There’s always drama

How do you know a person is toxic? Drama follows them everywhere they go. Anytime your friend is around, chaos ensues either in the form of arguments or confrontation or baseless gossip etc. Run, don’t walk out of the relationship because you’re just counting seconds till their drama spills onto you. 

4. Feelings of discomfort

There’s no longer that effortless comfort when you’re around them. You have an uneasy feeling or there’s awkward tension. There’s enough stress in the world, why would you let a friendship add on to that? A friend is supposed to put a smile on your face. If you lack familiarity or safety and have anxiety, headaches and tummy aches when you’re with them, it’s not meant to be and you’re forcing a connection. 

5. Constant competition

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with a little healthy competition between friends. But when that little competition progresses into full-fledged psychological warfare – that’s when it’s time to call it quits. This is even more true when you’re in the same field. 

6. They talk shit about you

That being said, talking about someone is a spectrum. It’s one thing if they divulge to another friend that they don’t like who you’re dating because he seems like an asshole etc, but it’s a whole new game if they’re outright petty, vindictive and malicious. If it’s the latter – get the fuck out of that friendship right now. A friend who gossips about you will do it again, and again and again. 

7. Half-ass apologies

When you call them out on their behaviour or reveal their actions that upset you, and they shrug off your feelings by saying you’re being “crazy” or “unfair,” nuh-uh we don’t let people invalidate us like that. That’s borderline gaslighting. A true friend would take the time to consider your perspective and take accountability for their actions.

8. You’re not you when you’re around them

Friends are supposed to bring out your best self and encourage you to open up. But instead, if you feel like you need to police yourself, censor yourself, hold yourself back jor transform into a completely different person just to fit in with a crowd, that’s not the crowd you belong in. 

9. They use you

Manipulation is the worst possible thing a person can do to you. From consistently making you pay for them to treating you as a doormat and stepping all over you, a bad friend will always make you feel violated.

10. Comparison and ridicule

If you have a friend who points out ways you don’t measure up to their other friends, what the hell are you doing with them? “XYZ has contacts at all the cool clubs, why don’t you?”, “XYZ has much better style than you.”, “XYZ knows all the hidden spots in town!” No, hell no. Leave them immediately. If they like XYZ so much, they can hang with them.