I think many women can relate to making romantic relationships their biggest priorities, at a certain point in life. And while that’s not always terrible (especially if the situation demands it), most of the time, that’s an unbalanced way to approach life itself. So, this Reddit thread, where women have shared how they avoided making romantic relationships the centre of their life, is definitely an insightful bunch of confessions.
Here, take a look at what we’re talking about:
1. “I pour into my female friendships. I engage in my passions.”
2. “Liking yourself is so overlooked. In the end, you’re the only person you’re guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Make sure you’re good company first and the rest of your relationships kinda fall in place around that.”
3. “Romantic relationships, as few and far between as they may have been, are additions to my life, not drivers. When it comes right down to it, I’m a researcher through and through. Romance has to work its way in… if it can find a space.”
4. “I spend a lot of time with my friends and fostering new friendships. I often have 1-3 meetups with different friends each week.”
5. “Make sure you keep space in your life for your friends. Once you’re past your teen years, it’s silly to dump your friends because of someone you’re dating. At least once a week, make sure you see your friends (without the partner). And do the same for yourself. Spend some time away from them every week where you aren’t working. Expecting your partner to fulfil all your needs is a lot of pressure and they will never be able to do it. Let your friends take some of the weight.”
6. “You keep your hobbies, keep your head focused on work/school/paying bills, and don’t slave trying to keep them happy. You need to be right with yourself before you bring someone else into the mix. If you have family and friends always make sure to have time for them. If you live together you don’t have to be cuddled up together every time you’re not working. Sometimes I like watching my boyfriend play video games, and sometimes I like reading or painting or watching TV. You can be in the same room doing different activities. It doesn’t have to be an all day, everyday love fest.”
7. “Learn how to be alone and have a life outside of the relationship. Enjoy your friends and family, hobbies, new habits you want to develop. Get into a routine and ask yourself ‘What the heck do I want out of life?’ You were not born to please your partner, you were born to create your life. So do some self discovery and digging and figure out what you truly want. Are you happy in your job/career? Are your finances where you want them to be? Have you done things from your bucket list yet?”
8. “Hobbies! Friends! Go on solo vacations! Never stop doing the things you like and keep valuing the things you considered important before the relationship.”
9. “If you’re single, I would recommend getting off the dating apps (they’re designed to fail anyway) and spending more time with friends. Even better if you can dedicate time to going out on the weekends (with or without friends) and/or join a hobby group that meets up weekly!”
10. “I found balance by focusing on personal well-being, keeping a broader perspective on relationships, and resisting societal pressures, ultimately creating a life that is rich, fulfilling, and not solely defined by romance.”
11. “I focus on my growth.”
12. “Go to therapy and suss out why you make your relationships the centre of your life. It’s not healthy or normal.”
Do you resonate with these comments?