Since the time we’re born, we’re in love.
It begins with our parents and immediate family. Then, we start loving random strangers as friends. Later, once the hormones kick in, we fall in love. And till the time we’re alive, we’re busy finding our way through the tricky trappings of this one emotion that’s literally making the world go round.
They say, change is the only constant in the world. I’d say, love is the other one. Just that love changes, from one generation to another.
I’ve grown up in the 90s. The era of minimal technology and maximum happiness. And every time I look at the love stories of today, I find them with everything else but love.
They profess undying emotion for each other. Chat for hours on Facetime. Click a million selfies for Instagram. Hangout on weekends and even take holidays. There’s attraction and affection. There’s romance and there’s also sex. In fact, lots of sex. It’s all good in the hood. Except that there isn’t much of love.
Or, maybe there is love. Just not the kind of love I grew up believing.
Back then, life was rather simple. And as a result, so was love. We didn’t swipe right on an app, meet at a bar for a drink, have sex without commitment and the next morning, get on with our individual lives. Our stories were more about taking coy glances at each other, stealing a few minutes to hold hands and writing letters professing our feelings.
There were candle-lit dinners and long walks on the beach. There was romance, a certain passion for each other. Now, there are drunken nights at pubs and instead of passion, there’s either a lets-keep-it-casual attitude or a blatant denial of all things emotional.
If the youngsters of today were present in my time, they would’ve laughed at us with mockery.
Who waits so long for the first kiss, right? Why can’t you just have sex? Well, we could’ve ‘just had sex’ but we chose to wait for the right time instead. Horrible waste of time, is it? I’m sorry if I’m coming across as judgmental – for the record, I have nothing against casual sex – but back then, we knew how to distinguish sex from love making.
So, what has changed with a change in generations? Unfortunately, the sheer definition of love has changed. It isn’t what it used to be. Or, it doesn’t seem to be. I don’t relate to it. And I’m sure most people my age aren’t relating to it either.
For the young people of today, love is a four-letter word they routinely play with. It’s like the newest iPhone – once you’ve got it, you swiftly move on to dreaming about the next one. Seeing 5 people at a time, going on multiple dates and having lots of casual sex, they’d rather take their time finding the one.
Meanwhile, they’re all about living in the moment and having fun with as many people as they can.
In the time of instant coffee and instant pleasure, it’s easy to forget that love doesn’t happen in an instant.
It needs to be nurtured. It requires patience. It needs time. But then, who has the time, right?
Love is about companionship. It is about sharing and caring. It isn’t just about going for a holiday or partying on a Saturday night. It isn’t to be put up for #goals on social media. It isn’t for the world to see and judge. It was for just the two people in it. That’s it!
They say, while love changes with time, its essence remains the same. Sadly, the essence of love too has changed with a change in generation.