Indian society is certainly one of the most contradictory ones around.
While it’s dead against two people falling in love (Hello Anti-Romeo squad!), it’s forever keen on uniting two absolute strangers in holy matrimony. Sex before marriage is completely taboo but sex with your stranger-turned-husband on the first night is totally legit. Double standards, anyone?
However, these double standards aren’t just limited to what happens after the band, baaja and baaraat. Even if you’re a young, urban couple in love, you’re still not off bounds. Because no matter where you go, there’s no escaping that one dreaded question.
“Beta, dating toh bahut ho gaya. Shaadi kab karoge?“
Why care if you want to get married or not? Whether the person you’re dating is the one for you? Whether you’ve achieved your immediate goals? Whether you’re ready to take on the responsibilities that come with marriage?
You’re dating anyway, right? It’s just putting that on paper. As per Indian uncles and aunties, you can do whatever you want even after marriage. WTF!
Let’s get one thing clear: marriage isn’t the next obvious step in a relationship!
When two people decide to get into a relationship, marriage is not always on their mind. Yes, they may see a probable future with each other but that future can be 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years later. They don’t sign a contract stating that if they’re together, five years down the line, they’ll get married and make a home together.
Besides, deciding to get married isn’t just about finding the right partner. It’s equally important to make sure you’re in the right frame of mind.
Have you saved enough? Traveled enough? Or, enjoyed being single enough? Since marriage comes with additional duties, it’s obvious you’ll lose out on some of your personal time.
Just because you’re with someone doesn’t mean it is, or rather, should lead to marriage.
Sometimes, you can be committed and yet not be sure about marriage.
There are many, many couples today who are perfectly compatible and deeply in love. They’ve been together long enough to appreciate each others choices and make peace with their quirks. They love hanging out together, having conversations about anything under the sun. They look great together and are totally into each other. Even their sex life is fabulous.
And yet, they aren’t sure if they can spend their lives with each other.
Love alone isn’t enough to make a life together. Some people may make great boyfriends/girlfriends but do they make for an equally amazing husband/wife?
Marriage isn’t just about sentimentality. It’s also about practicality!
Why is marriage necessary, anyway?
In our present-day society, there are all kinds of couples around. They’re going about their lives, doing exactly what they please. Some choose to conform and some not. Either way, it’s their right to do what they want.
Not everyone couple wishes to tie the knot. Not every one wants a family. Yes, they do want companionship but that can be earned with any formal ritual, right? Getting a marriage certificate won’t change anything for anyone. It won’t guarantee a life of togetherness. Just the way not getting married won’t guarantee a split!
If two people are in love, committed to each other and happy, who cares if they’ve got the society’s stamp of approval!
It’s time we stop putting every young couple under so much pressure.
As young, responsible adults, they know what they’re doing. When to get married and to whom is a call they shall make. Breathing down their neck, urging them to ‘settle down’ will only force them to take a decision they might later regret.
If you’re a happy couple, madly in love, you don’t HAVE to get married. Do it when you feel it’s right. Or else, don’t. Marriage isn’t about the right age; it’s about the right time!
Your marital status is of no consequence. Certainly not when it comes to happiness!