“15 signals that he could be the one.”

“If he does these 20 things, he really is the man for you.”

Yada, yada.

The internet is full of such articles, and throws one at you just as often as the weekly reminder of “Beta, ab toh settle ho jao” that comes from your relatives.

Even before we meet a prospective boyfriend, we already picture him in the ‘perfect’ frame that we have of a relationship. 

Tall, dark, handsome, the one who brings me flowers, surprises me with pizza at work, spends time with me, bowls me over with his charm and wit, gets along with my friends… the list goes on and on.

By the end of the first date, we’re already stalking him left, right and centre, searching desperately for the information that fits with our idea of perfect.

“Oh! He volunteers at an NGO. Must be a nice guy!”

“He plays football. I love men who’re into sports.”

“He reads! He HAS to be the perfect boyfriend.”

With every new piece of information that fuels our idea of the “perfect boyfriend,” our expectations shoot up manifold.

And the moment we realize things aren’t going the way we want them to, we find faults in ourselves

“Where did I go wrong?”

“He seemed like such a nice guy.”

“Why does this always happen with me?”

It’s the same story every time, isn’t it?

One: If you expect things to happen, you will always end up feeling disappointed. He could be a great guy and still not be what you’re looking for. So isn’t it better to have no expectations, go with the flow and take each day and date as it comes?

And, two: He could be the most perfect guy on the face of the Earth.

But maybe, just maybe, he’s just not that into you?