If you’re married, you would’ve heard several jokes aimed at your sex life, or lack thereof, and how cobwebs will soon appear in your vagina. Not only does this paint a disgusting picture in my mind, it’s also lame. And untrue. Sex does not go off the table (or bed, wherever you prefer) once the vows are taken. It would be a horrible existence for the entire world if every married person stops having sex. Where is all the joy to come from? And the kids? Let’s not forget where babies come from.

People have laughed themselves hoarse with the idea that sex after marriage is a chore and something that needs innovative excuses to escape from. Sex is great. With or without marriage, sex is great. It is not a chore. If you’re not into it but still having sex to please your partner who keeps asking for it, that’s coercion, which is not something to be joked about. But a person’s existing sexual drive does not reduce with marriage. Age, maybe. But not marriage. You may feel it more with your sexual partner sleeping next to you night after night, but it stays the same. In all probability, you’re having more sex after marriage than you did before the nuptials. Now, you have a place available all the time, you’re around each other or get there soon enough when you’re in the mood, you know you’re going to see each other at the end of the day and have plenty of time to build up the sexual energy.

To dispel these myths that result in such distasteful jokes, here is a reality check of how sex gets better after marriage.

You have all the time in the world to get it right.

You remember how disappointing bad sex was before you got married? Well, that was mostly because you didn’t have the time or the opportunity to try again. “Practice makes perfect,” the oft-repeated phrase ingrained in every person since they are born, applies to sex as well. So if you didn’t have the chance to try repeatedly, how would sex be great? Marriage gives you the chance to work at it and feel the surge of unbridled happiness when you get it right.

You know what works for you and what doesn’t.

Exotic sex positions may look great in illustrations and pictures but most of them are so difficult to achieve that it can murder the libido in the process. However, after years of trying the weird and twisted (literally), I have realised what works for me. The only thing that did help me figure that out was marriage. Without the pressure to please in bed every single time, a person can concentrate on what they truly like in the sack. The satisfaction of knowing what takes you to the level of orgasm is unmatched.

You’re more at ease while trying new stuff.

With marriage, hopefully, comes a lot more familiarity. You may think that you know everything about each other but you’ll be surprised at how much of the little stuff you don’t know. This familiarity will probably put you more at ease to talk about the stuff you want to try during your next sex session.

Dressing up for sex is so last year.

Technically, you never have to dress up for sex to happen. But some masochist human beings decided that physical appearances will play a major role in sex, especially of the pre-marital kind. For that to change, the inhabitants of this planet will need several years of reform. And sex cannot wait that long. Marriage gives you the opportunity to put aside these annoying norms and realise that the quality of sex is not proportional to the quality of the clothes on your body. They have to come off anyway. So, cotton pyjamas and stained t-shirts are perfectly acceptable.

Grooming requirements stay the same.

Because you should do any sort of trimming or shaving only to please yourself, no one else. If a fellow or a lady recoils at the thought of natural hair growth anywhere on your body, let them go and wish them luck in finding a hairless chicken to frolick around with. This does not change with marriage.

Sex can happen at any time.

Whether it’s after a late night movie or an afternoon romp, sex can be had at any time of the day. And you don’t even need to step into the shower, change clothes, deal with traffic and get somewhere. It’s all right there, available for you to take whenever both of you want it. In fact, because of this freedom, married people have a lot more sex than those who haven’t stepped into the fold.

Sex need not happen all the time.

To the shock and disbelief of all and sundry, it is entirely possible to sleep in the same bed and not have sex all the time. There will be times when sex won’t happen every day. That’s absolutely okay. With all the pressures of just existing as an adult, sometimes sex can take a backseat to television and sleep.

Period sex is so damn easy.

Period sex may need some towels and other material to keep the sheets clean, especially if you’re not into free bleeding. To do that and other preps takes a mammoth effort if you’re meeting at a place where neither of you stay. However, once married and assuming that you live together, all those concerns go out the window. Grab a towel from the bathroom and get to it. Also, if your partner is at all queasy about it, you have plenty of time (as stated above) to convince them that it’s completely normal.

If you’re not having as much sex with your partner as you would like, take a long, hard look at the relationship instead of blaming it all on the stereotype of ‘marriage killing sex.’ That’s not how it happens. Marriage is not your sex life’s worst enemy, it’s probably the best friend. Of course, for those who don’t believe in marriage or just haven’t reached there yet, the same applies for live-in relationships. However, those don’t come in for as many jokes as the dreaded M-word. It’s the same arrangement though, isn’t it? Two people living together and sharing nearly every moment of their lives. I’m pretty sure a document certifying your marriage doesn’t have enough power to keep the nookie away from you. So stop making the marriage-is-the-end-of-all-sex jokes, people. You know it’s a lie.

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