The idea of working on a relationship after a breakup looks like hitting a wall that will only bounce back with a lot of pain. Also, the mere thought of it raises a lot of questions, right?
But here's a thing: ‘sometimes’ a break in a relationship helps you introspect a lot of things. So if you are in a similar situation or just curious to know, read on- people who have patched up with their exes share how it worked out for them.
1. "SO and I had a bit of a rocky start, ended up breaking up after a few months mostly because we were both a little too immature for a serious relationship, I think. We did stay in touch, though, and talked now and again. A year or so later, we realized we still liked each other and wanted to give it a go now that we were in a better place. Married 5 years last month."
2. "I’ve only ever gotten back with an ex once. I went back because I had broken up with him for a stupid reason. He was devastated, I was devastated, and we spent a month apart. We had to overcome a lot of issues because we both had been “talking” to other people. We trucked through. We’ve been married for a year and welcomed twins on New Year's Day. That month apart was all we needed to know that we never wanted to be with anyone else. I can’t wait to be old with him."
3. "She called because she was having surgery and wanted to clear the air. In case she did not make it. I drove 600 miles to see her and hold her hand. She was okay and recovered fine. We were married a year later. Still married 35 years now."
4. "My situation doesn't seem to be the norm, so I'll share. We dated for a few years, and then I was an idiot and we broke up (it was high school and there was another girl that I was interested in). We were apart for about a year when I came back to her and apologized and started to earn her trust back. A few months after that, we started dating again. Fast forward several years: we got married last year and I can't imagine being without her!"
5. "We’ve talked about it a lot and recognize it wasn’t the right time when we were first dating. We were both too immature and were building our lives in different directions. Things are very different this time around. I catch him smiling all the time now and feel so thankful to wake up next to him every morning."
6. "I still loved her/still love her. I just missed it all. She contacted me wondering how I was about 10 months after she initially left me and we arranged coffee and the dog park. We both agreed that we missed it and wanted to try again and take it slow so it would work This time. That lasted for a few months and I was in heaven but it seems like that was one-sided, one day she just said "I can't be happy with you" and "it was probably a mistake contacting you again" that was it. It's been a little over a month and a half and I'm still just empty."
7. "We were together for about two years right out of high school. I was his first "real" girlfriend and he had been talking about marriage since our first date. After two years he was a little freaked out and wanted to figure out who he was. I was hurt but I didn't blame him. He was only 18 (I was 19). During the year and half that we weren't together, we both dated a little, but we spent all of our time together. We got back together and 6 months later we got married."
8. "She wanted to apologise for her behaviour leading up to and following our break-up (which was initiated by me). I was simultaneously interested in starting the friendship up again (not necessarily romantic). We had been together for two years, apart for a year and a half before our reconnecting. We had grown as people (teens can be stupid), felt comfortable with each other from the beginning, started fooling around at some point, and got back together like a month and a half later. We've been together for 11+ years now, living together for 10, engaged for almost 6. In addition, when we originally got together, I had known her for 5 years."
9. "I have gotten back together with a couple of them. Didn't work. But I don't regret doing it at all. It was worth it each time. Humans just want to share. But we dream of sharing a life. The reality is we do. We share our lives in pieces. This piece with this one. That year with that one. And that is OK. Love isn't a finite emotion that we run out of. It's infinite. Don't keep yours all to yourself."
10. "I know a few people who married their spouses after breaking up at a certain point. It really depends on whether the breakup was because you were just in different life stages or if you broke up because the relationship was toxic."
11. "I broke up with her because I was severely depressed and didn't have the emotional strength or mental energy to carry on a healthy relationship. It sucked because I basically broke up with someone I was in love with. Almost a year later we’re back together, I'm doing OK."
12. "Only ever got back with one ex and that is my current partner. We only broke up for a couple of months and still spent a lot of time together. We had a big heart to heart and just realised we both still loved each other, we just needed to try harder. Been a year now and things are much better."
13. "I was going through something major when I met him. We dated for a year, but I couldn't snap out of the thing I was going through. I broke it off as it was not fair to him, and also moved back to the state I was from. We didn't talk for 6 years, though he was still on my FB I didn't notice as he never posted. Almost 2 years ago I moved back to the state I met him, and he found out through said FB and messaged me to see if I wanted to grab lunch. Though he had been in a 4-year relationship during those 6 years apart, he said he still loved me and thought of me often. We've been together ever since that lunch and recently moved in together. We couldn't be happier."
14. "Yes, I do. And guess what. It doesn't work!! There's a reason you guys split, to begin with. And that reason doesn't go away. Besides, even if you do, there will always be the lingering doubt of "will they leave again" and it will never be the same nor ok. Just let it go."