Thanks to porn, we have got a lot of things wrong about sex. While it’s a wonderful thing, most of us hesitate to talk to it, which leads to many uncomfortable experiences inside the bedroom. What we need to learn is to comfortably and openly talk about sex, including the time of performing the deed!

However, among the many things we need to discard and unlearn about sex- Redditors have sexual lessons that we should learn sooner. You’re welcome. 

1.”A lot of foreplay and making sure everyone is comfortable. If you think something could be wrong – stop. Communicate during sex and tell your partner what you like and don’t like. Also if you cum and your partner doesn’t, try to make them cum as well, and don’t just stop.”


2. “It’s not about making them finish. It’s about making them feel good. Focus on that, and the orgasms will come. Even if they don’t, at least it feels really good.” 


3.”The biggest lesson I’ve learned over the years is that sex is gross and you have to embrace that. There are a lot of bodily fluids everywhere and a squeamish heart doesn’t like sex, so don’t be squeamish. It’s just fluid and human leather, it’ll wash off your skin, and sheets can be changed and washed.”


4.”Make ‘em feel pretty, whoever it is. When we feel handsome or gorgeous, comfort goes up and so does confidence, vulnerability, and openness when participating. Leads to a better connection and performance.”


5.”If you are putting your fingers inside anywhere, cut your fingernails down really short the day before. If you have to cut them the day of, file them dull. And absolutely do not leave them long, long in this case meaning having any gap between the nail and your finger. That shit hurts all hell. Feels like Wolverine went to town on you.”


6.”If you state you want protected sex and the guy complains about wearing a condom (“it doesn’t feel good” “you’re on birth control so what’s the point?” Etc) don’t sleep with them, just peace out. There is a decent chance they will try to remove the condom during sex and there is a huge chance that they are a generally entitled person and an inconsiderate lover.”


7. “As a woman, learning how my body worked and what it needed to get off. It took me a while and all the while guys ask, “what does it for you?” and I wasn’t being coy when I didn’t answer. It was because I simply didn’t know yet and I couldn’t tell anyone how to do it if I didn’t know myself. So yeah. That.”


8.”Sex is just a game where both sides are trying to make the other side win. Relax and just have fun and it’s so much better.”


9.”Sex doesn’t have to be serious. You can actually share a laugh during sex, it’s a sign of being relaxed and comfortable with your partner. Especially since at some point, one of you will fart.”


10.”Focus on making your partner feel good physically and emotionally. Everyone wins.”


11. “That it’s OK to not want sex sometimes, I’m not broken and if my partner can’t accept that I don’t want it right then, they’re not meant to be my partner.”


12. “Sex does not equal love. Sleeping with someone does not necessarily require feelings BUT sleeping with someone can cause you to develop feelings. Ultimately, proceed with caution and have a good idea of A) why you’re sleeping with someone B) what you want/expect out of it and C) what THEY want and expect out of it. Failure to do so can make you messy af.”


13. “It doesn’t matter if the guy comes early. There’s nothing shameful about it as long as he doesn’t leave you hanging, it’s fine. His dick size doesn’t matter, the way he moves does. Having sex all the time can be boring. Shower sex looks cool in movies but there’s nothing sexy about constantly worrying whether or not you’re going to slip and fall.”


14. “The most powerful sex organ we all have in our bodies is our brain. With our brain and the right partner we can use things like creativity, humor, empathy, understanding, romance, urgency, need, adoration, and communication to build a secret club of two for a satisfying and exciting sexual relationship.”


15. “The woman’s oral rule of “If I say I’m almost there don’t you dare change what you are doing,” is pretty well known. But similarly, for men – ejaculation is not the end of an orgasm, it’s the start. Don’t stop as soon as he blows. Just keep going until he whimpers and begs for you to let go.”


16. “Lay a towel under yourselves. Everything will be absorbed by the towel. Double layer it if you have to. Saves you a tonne of time and energy cleaning up after sex. I can’t believe some people just go to sleep after sex with all that fluid all over the bed.”


17. “Communicate. Also, the hymen isn’t meant to tear, it’s not a biological requirement for vagina owners the first time to hurt and for them to bleed. They have the capacity to stretch.”


18. “You don’t have to have sex with someone for them to like you more. Usually, it keeps the wrong people around for the wrong reasons. Would’ve saved me a body count for sure lol sex does not equal worth. A sad lesson but one that needed to be learned.”


19. “Porn has no bearing on reality. Whatever you do, do NOT let porn influence what you think the opposite sex likes or is like in bed.”


20.”Don’t let people tell you how you should enjoy it, there is only one rule: every party involved has to feel comfortable and consent. Bonus points if everyone has fun.”


That said, we need to discard a lot of sexual lessons from our bucket list now!

Read more: 11 Ways To Communicate Sexual Boundaries With Your Partner.