No one deserves the hurt of being in an unannounced rebound relationship. It’s painful and worst when you don’t know about it. A rebound love is an escape to get over an unsuccessful relationship of the past. While every relationship has a risky element of failing, it’s important that your partner tells you beforehand about their emotional availability. 

Everyone has their own timeline to move on and heal from a heartbreak. However, dating someone new doesn’t always mean you are in a rebound relationship.

That said, we know a rebound relationship is complicated, heartbreaking, and confusing but here are some tell-tale signs that will help you identify if you are someone’s rebound.  

1. You need to know if they are over their past or the ex-lover. If someone is looking for a fresh start they will not bring up the ex unless needed. 

If they bring up their ex a lot then they’re probably using you to rebound. But it’s honestly hard to tell.


2. If they got out of a serious relationship very recently. This will help you understand if they have taken time to heal or not. 

I almost always ask “How long was your last relationship, and how long ago was it?” My general rule of thumb is they should be out of their last relationship for 1/4 to 1/2 the time they were in it. Also, people (men & women) are looking for 1 of 2 (sometimes both) things in a rebound: close friendship or intimacy. So look for the person to rush you into either of  these two.


3. Are you just a distraction to make the ex jealous?

If you keep coincidentally bumping into him on dates/ nights out, she’s looking for his attention and you’re a rebound. If she wants to spend time with you but never wants to get intimate, she’s thinking about him and you’re a rebound. Vice versa.


4. It’s best to discuss the emotional availability of a person first before you delve ahead into a relationship.

In my case, the guy was overly caring and nice, texting often, giving a loooot of oral sex, and asking to sleep over all the time, I totally fell for him very quickly. And then BAM the I-miss-my-ex-I-can’t-do-this bomb.


5. Look for signs: 

You have to look out for if they bring up their past relationship, if they want just a fling or if they really want to start dating, if communication is inconsistent, and their eagerness to jump right in bed with you. All were traits that I didn’t pick up on initially.

– the_tylerd91

6. When they seem way too into you way too soon.

If you are hoping to avoid being someone’s rebound, the best ways to avoid it are entirely in your control: 1) Don’t date the person, to begin with, if you’re worried about potentially being a rebound and don’t want to take that risk or 2) Keep the other person at arm’s length and the relationship progressing slowly until you feel it is “safe” to start having feelings for him/her.


7. Check if they are interested in your life apart from the intimacy you guys have. If it’s mere sex there might be a problem.

Probably something along the lines of knowing someone is with you just to keep from being lonely. If they don’t want to be left alone with their thoughts and the ghost of their ex. If they seem uninterested right after they have sex with you and so on.


8. Be emotionally ready no matter what. 

It is not the rebound that is the issue, it is how you feel about your ex. You need to make sure you are emotionally ready to move on. If not, it does you and your potential new partner a disservice.


9. Is the whole relationship thing moving very quickly?

Someone who isn’t trying to rebound you isn’t gonna rush to things so quickly. Oh and alcohol. If you go out with someone and they have 2-4 drinks in one hour, something is definitely bothering them mentally. Or they may be stressed about something heavy.


10. True. But be honest with your partner about it.

To be honest, if you’re over them it’s not really a rebound. Rebounds are when you’re trying to get over the ex or just miss the relationship. My last relationship started 2 weeks after the one before. Like you the relationship before was off and on I was totally over it so the new relationship never felt like a rebound to me.


11. When you feel the relationship is stagnant.

They do not commit to any long-term plans with you or even hesitate to discuss them. You will also be secluded from close friends and family most of the time.

12. How do they make you feel?

Last but not the list, your instincts matter the most. So watch out.

Being in a rebound relationship works, as long as you recognize what is happening and communicate your expectations clearly in the beginning. 

Read more: 16 Secrets You Can Tell To A Stranger But Not Your Partner.