While I pat myself on the back for having cracked the definite, most accurate tagline for Tinder, you, my reader, must take a moment to sit down, download the app if you haven’t already (seriously?), open it and start swiping. Because in the age of digital India, if you’re not hooking up online, you’re certainly not worth hooking up off it.
A swipe a day keeps loneliness at bay.
Tinder isn’t just yet another mobile app for sex-seekers anonymous. If used judiciously, it’s a great way to meet people, make friends, have fun and eventually, find the one for yourself. Love, lust or lounging, whatever it is that you seek, thanks to this revolutionary app, it’s all a swipe away. Take it from an expert, yours truly that is, life gets better when your fingers start moving.
However, before you dismiss Tinder as just a technological vice, you must know that regular usage of the app can give you some serious life advice. It may not be a part of the memo but Tinder gets you sorted for life just as easily as it gets you an orgasm.
Here are some golden pieces of life advice, all the way from Tinder-verse:
1. If they can’t get a profile photo right, how do you think they’d fare in life? Besides, our world could seriously do with some good-looking people. Seriously!
2. It’s not about what you have but what you do with it instead. Can just hold it and not play? The guitar is better left out of the frame.
3. A potential partner, a great fuck buddy, an honest friend… literally everyone is just a swipe away. You don’t have to wait for kingdom come. Get on the app and get going!
4. If there’s one universal truth, it is this. And nothing prepares you for it better than Tinder. That hot girl who looked like Katrina? Without make up, she’s just a hurricane!
5. If Indian moms could be jailed for something, it’d definitely be for lying to their kids. “My beta is so handsome!” No aunty, he’s not.
6. When was the last time you looked at someone at a bar and said, “Wow! I love that guy’s brain. I’m taking him home, tonight!”? Never, right?
7. Originality, my friend, is a fast-diminishing virtue. Try talking to all the apparent wordsmiths on Tinder and you’ll know just great they really are with words!
8. Because that’s the ONLY photo where they look remotely presentable. The ONLY one!
9. How can you decide who to choose if you don’t have anyone to compare them with? As SRK taught in Dear Zindagi, the kursi logic is absolutely applicable in real life!
10. You don’t have to limit yourself to anyone or any place. Get out of town, literally, and go find your calling in some other part of the world. It’s a global village, for Christ’s sake!
11. Yes, some things take time but a girl won’t suddenly say ‘yes’ if she’s been ignoring your ‘good morning dear!’ messages for weeks now.
12. The line between interested and desperate is a thin one. And you’re unlikely to cross it anytime soon.
13. Firstly, it’s way too dangerous. And secondly, it’s an art not many have been blessed it. So, stick to one at a time and you might just get lucky.
14. First impression IS the last impression. If you mess it up in the first line, she won’t be online to read the second.
15. When you’re a sex-starved, average-looking, not-so-rich single man, it’s best to not be yourself. BTW, I couldn’t have said it more nicely!
Basically, life education is just a swipe away!
For more Tinder gyaan, watch:
Designs by Devika Kumari
