As a twenty-first-century member of the Gen-Z clan, I occasionally find myself on dating apps struggling to keep my head above water in the quest for love. Each time, I’m thoroughly amazed at how spectacularly horrible men are at online dating.
Why is this the profile of all men on dating apps? pic.twitter.com/9ownDFF8oe— Sofie Hagen (@SofieHagen) April 16, 2021
Women will be giving looks on dating apps. She’ll be showing you she’s part clink clink and loves traveling.— OLONI BABY (@Oloni) November 7, 2020
Men? Men will upload a photo with a celeb cameo, some random lady (Who even does that??) topless photos but forget to mention that they have a kid in their profile.
Men on dating apps love putting pictures of their dog on their profile just to distract you from their lack of personality and receding hairline don’t they— Jessica (@Jess_Storey99) March 8, 2022
Men, I will say this only once, when you’re on dating apps & taking selfies for your profile, CLEAN YOUR DAMN FINGER NAILS.— H 🇺🇦 (@thatredcurl) September 15, 2021
I love when men dedicate their dating app bios to complaining about women on dating apps. pic.twitter.com/nJ5pe9lOoW— Rachel Leah (@raetheforce) December 29, 2021
Dude so many cis men on dating apps have bios like— unawarewolf 🏳️🌈 (@yadudewhatever) March 20, 2022
We’ll get along if..
“you can form a proper sentence”
“choose brains over beauty”
“you don’t put flashy makeup”
“you’re capable of having an intellectual conversation”
“not a woke feminist”
And still getting matches????
“Honesty is very important to me” – Men on dating apps whose profile says age 34 but clearly look at least 48. 😬— Birdie (@BirdieBangkok) February 9, 2022
men on dating apps write bios like they r princesses trapped in a tower “i love the outdoors, i love traveling, i want to see the world” bby ur allowed to go outside— Sara Jean (@sarajeanruiz) February 6, 2022
what the fuck is this how do men be on dating apps with bios like this do yall really think this would help u score chicks 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 https://t.co/8ggt2T9I0N— strawberrhea 🍓 (@rhealoveskeyaki) November 26, 2021
Men, if you are reading this, please take notes. Your real personality is getting foreshadowed by pseudo-red-blooded jargon and a flurry of pointless words that mean nothing. Let me give you some pointers on how you can double your matches and not come across as a complete sociopath!
Let’s start with pictures:
1. Put on a shirt, please.
It’s great that you have abs, I’m sure you worked hard for them! But, you don’t need to shove it in our faces via dim-lit bathroom selfies or topless gym flexing pictures where you can visibly see people judging you in the background. Not only is the whole move tacky and makes you appear as a narcissistic egomaniac, but it also sheds light upon a massive double standard in the world of dating apps. If a woman were to do the same, she would be banned in a second.
2. Press pause on the selfies.
A good rule of thumb? No more than two selfies on your dating profile. Any more signifies that you are obsessed with your own vanity and in turn self-conceited. For pictures, stick to natural photos with organic poses.
3. Group photos are cool, but in moderation.
Like any walk of life, a healthy balance is key while crafting your profile. While group photos are great since they demonstrate that you are a social being capable of maintaining solid friendships, an overload of them makes it hard for your potential match to pinpoint who you are. You don’t want your prospective swipee to zoom in on a pixelated picture and squint her eyes out to identify you, because 9/10 times it means a quick left swipe. Stick with group pictures of four people or less so it’s clear who you are. Also, space out the group photos by adding solo images in between.
4. Smile, you’re on camera!
Drab, expressionless photos make you look like a robot. Now when I say smile, I don’t mean a creepy Joker-esque inverted grin. Use images where you’re having fun and genuinely enjoying the moment. Happiness translates on camera. Smiling in photos helps you to be perceived as more friendly and approachable.
5. Action shots are your best bet.
Images that capture you performing some sort of activity are a great conversation starter and show your true, most authentic self. Think pictures of you swimming, hiking, binging on pizzas, some famous landmarks etc.
Moving on to the bios:
6. Don’t skip it.
Empty bios make you come across as a catfish. If you aren’t willing to share some basic information about yourself, it’s going to be perceived as a massive red flag. You’ve put so much effort with your pictures, now support it with some text!
7. Enough with the cliches, FFS.
I can’t believe I have to spell it out, but you would be shocked at how many people get it wrong. Stop writing shit phrases like “sapiosexual” (= unless you’re really hot, then I don’t care how dumb you are) or “can you keep up” (= I’m a huge bitch). These maxims literally translate to “I’m unoriginal and can’t handle simple day-to-day interactions with my romantic interests.”
8. Pick up lines are a BIG NO.
No, just no. Cheesy pick up lines have been used, reused, overused and then used some more. Steer clear because they just make you come across as lazy and uncreative AF.
9. Do not, and I repeat DO NOT put anything sexual.
If you’re on dating apps to just objectify people and look for sexting opportunities/hookups, get off immediately. Adding an overly sexual bio or even something sexually adjacent signifies that you are shallow, a misogynist and above all a huge creep.
10. Keep it short and sweet.
Use the space to write a short excerpt about yourself – kind of like a preview of your life. Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine! Include your hobbies, add a quote from your favourite movie, what kind of people you best resonate with, how you’re crazy about momos (we all are), maybe a weird fact or two.
Okay fighters, you’re now ready. Go get some love!