It’s quite easy, isn’t it?
Take a look at their filtered-to-perfection photographs and decide whether they’re good enough. Swipe away till you find your ‘match’. Have a few drinks, enough to get you in the mood. Take ’em home and enjoy a night of no-strings-attached. And the next morning, get on with your life.
If you’re looking for casual sex, every day is a good day, every night more exciting than the other. There are bars with happy hours and apps to ensure you’re happy at all hours.
Just don’t look for anything more than sex. Or, something apart from it.
Because in the age of casual sex and instant pleasure, real, emotional intimacy is so outdated!
I’ve always wondered exactly when did intimacy go so out of fashion!
When I was a teenager, it was all about finding the one you could spend the rest of your life with. The one who’d listen to all that you wanted to say. Hold your hand and go for long walks. The one who’d know your deep-dark secrets.
The one you’d be truly intimate with. You know, the raw, emotional, soul-stirring intimacy. The sorts that can never develop when an app decides who you’re locking lips with!
But as I look around, standing at the onset of my 30s, all I see are ‘cool’ youngsters going through life one Instagram filter at a time, whiling away their loneliness in a night of random sex.
No intimate conversations, no emotional connect. Just sex. With multiple people. Totally, totally casual!
What is the choice, then, for those who’re a bit ‘old-school’?
The ones who’d rather meet for coffee and actually talk? The ones who’re genuinely interested in the other person’s thoughts and desires?
What about those who’re keen on knowing your mind and heart much before your body?
Where do they go?
In the age of Tinder, when six-pack abs and jaw-dropping curves supersede everything, what happens to those who’d much rather romance a kind heart instead?
Let this not be some kind of angst-ridden drivel against sex and those who actively seek it.
It’s amazing, it’s important. Sex truly is fantastic. And it certainly helps in keeping two people together. But it can’t be the only thing you want or need? There has to be more. Two people can’t just be limited to a night of lust-ignited passion.
But then, have we gone so far ahead in our pursuits of an orgasm that we’ve forgotten what’s it like to sit by the window, sipping some steaming chai and spending the night just talking?
Is our definition of intimacy two naked bodies and a few thrusts and moans? Because real intimacy is when it’s two naked minds and hearts even if the clothes don’t come undone!
But it’s too late, I suppose.
This is the era of social media validations, hashtags and apps. We’re all just looking to have a good time. Why bother looking for intimacy when there are so many other, more exciting options around?
Since YOLO, why not make the most of it?
As for those of us seeking intimacy, well, maybe we’ll need to build an app for that too. Till then, there’s always an exciting ‘match’ to make it a good, good night!