Allow me to trace the perfect life trajectory for a woman: grow up, get married, have a kid, have another kid, (and preferably another and another), be a good mother and a wife, the end. Yes, that’s it. That’s how you do it.
Contrary to the ideal life picture I painted, someone posted a very disagreeable thought on Reddit, though. The woman wrote that she is accomplished career-wise and wishes people celebrated the legit achievements of women and not just when she gets married and has kids. Excuse me?
Well, here’s how other people reacted to this blasphemy of a post.
1. Advice: celebrate yourself. Throw yourself these parties. My goal is to open my own hotel and travel the world. I know that it is not the traditional life that people expect young girls to live. But I realized I don’t care.
2. I did this [celebrating achievements] after graduating with my PhD. I don’t usually throw parties for myself but I knew that no one else was going to do it, so I threw a party and it was great!
3. Any success and any happy accomplishment is being annihilated by being without a man. It’s like your life isn’t fully real (yet) (or not anymore).
4. What stood out to me is how no one asked how your businesses were going. That’s bullshit – especially if you join in and celebrate other people’s stuff like a birth, wedding, or [eye roll] a gender reveal party…. But they can’t bother to celebrate your achievements/ambition. Why not? Reading about your accomplishments and goals is empowering. You are an inspiration to me.
5. It’s almost like society wanted to reinforce that marriage was the only celebratory goal, so women got a separate title for showing they got married, but men didn’t.
6. Even for women that have children and marriage. Its just about the other person. We get celebrated for being vessels. And it was part of my post-natal depression. The peak of everyone paying attention, to becoming a lactating machine, was a huge comedown. Everything becomes harder. So yes people won’t celebrate you for doing things for yourself, that give you pleasure and a sense of achievement. You are seen as selfish.
7. I keep thinking about how much we got screwed over just for demanding our basic rights it’s like now we have to be fucking superwomen and work three times harder then men just to get noticed.
Well, they said it because it’s true. Women shouldn’t be defined by just their personal lives, their marriage and the kids they bear. We are so much more than that and we deserve to be celebrated for our choices. We stan all the queens who live life on their own terms. To hell with society and its expectations!